Washington, D.C.—The White House is downplaying a fire that started earlier today in Chief Strategist Steve Bannon’s office, or, more specifically, his liquor drawer. The fire occurred as Mr. Bannon was trying to recreate the Flaming Moe, a fictional drink of Simpsons’ fame. The flames quickly spread from the liquor drawer to one of President Trump’s auxiliary hair product drawers, and in moments the fire claimed a chair, some drapes, and a portrait of Dolly Madison. Everyone involved agrees the fire was quickly contained and could have been much worse. In a presidential tweet, President Trump calmed the American people: “Luckily we only lost a painting of that chick who made the first ice cream cone #GoodbyeDolly.”
