Trump Tower—A drunk Stephen Bannon reported for work today, having neglected to take off some of his costume from the previous night. Mr. Bannon’s unpredictable behavior as Trump’s new chief-strategist has sent shockwaves across the internet. Many are implicating Bannon as the force behind the creepy clown phenomenon. President-elect Ass-Clown Hitler told reporters, “Bannon is a creep and he is a clown, but that’s as far as it goes. He’s not, nor has he ever been, a creepy clown at the same time. Let’s get one thing straight, no one I am going to hire is going to be able to multitask. I get a lot of crap about not being inclusive. I like clowns. In fact, I plan to fill the White House with them. This is me being inclusive. There’s plenty of room in the GOP tent for clowns. Just as long as whatever is under all that face paint is white.”