Middle-Jersey—Rumor grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a feckless tweet #yada yada. Meanwhile, in a Starbucks in Glen Ridge, New Jersey, the last of the ‘Resistance’ gathered and agreed to schlep the One Subpoena to the very shadow of Trump Tower. Yeah, good luck with that with bridge and tunnel traffic!
Tweet Tower—Two members of the White Council descended from the Misty Mountains of Rivendell today to bestow unto President Trump the coveted Sword of Tweétit-nuiân. The High Elves complained of boredom since the conclusion of the whole “ring thing” and felt ready to “stir some shit up again.” They stand ready to come to the aid of the armies of men once more. Rivendell has very limited cable; they apparently only get Fox News, which has made them very wary of the actions of both Kim Jong Un and the Whitewater Witch, Hillary Clinton.