Plains, GA—Former President Jimmy Carter was recently diagnosed with a malignant melanoma. Many on the right have therefore concluded he was a goner and called him such names as, “The Neville Chamberlain of Malignancy” and “Weak on Cancer.” The 91-year old has proved them all wrong again as his last test indicates he is now totally free from the disease. Carter explained the details of his political move to the press: “We all get one last executive order on the way out the door. Bush Jr. used his to avoid being tried as a war criminal, Clinton used his on the other intern incident, and Nixon used his on a cloak of invisibility. You got to hand it to Tricky Dick. I guess he wanted an encore to that 18-minutes of lost tape.”
