Taos, NM—Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Bait Shop, believes 420 and the related spike in marijuana use is subtly altering the rotation of the Earth’s axis. Dr. Hogbein explains, “This is a form of time travel. It’s not just about all the weed and the resulting slow moving hipsters, there’s an additional factor thus far missed by science. What science ignores is all the associated convenience-store munchies. Remember how right before their own time travel adventures, Bill & Ted said there were strange things afoot at the Circle-K? It’s not tachyon particles, convenience store food is the key to time travel. Once Cheetos, Twinkies and chili dogs are combined with the existing cannabinoidic receptors of the brain, I believe a small Snack Gate can open within the neural snacknaptic clefts of the temporal lobe.”
