Tag Archive for fourth of july

Nation’s Capital Assailed By Patriotic Missiles

fireworks

Washington, DC—Washington was assailed by a barrage of patriotic and colorful missiles. Didn’t you read the headline? The President is referring to this attack as Operation: Flag and Awe as many onlookers waved flags and said “awe” during the hour long siege of our Nation’s Capital.

The President, who to onlookers appeared drunk, rambled on about NASA and England’s upcoming UFO disclosures and then started plagiarizing parts of the presidential speech from the Sci Fi movie classic, Independence Day. It marked the first time in U.S. history the Secret Services contemplated taking out the President in the interests of national security.