Sesame Street—Sesame Street is under siege at this hour amidst a sequence of events witnesses are calling “better than that Seagal movie of the same name.” President Trump is apparently directing his recent frustrations toward the home turf of the late great Jim Henson. Soon after the president announced his intentions to defund PBS, a Muppets RESIST movement was born. Since March several of Henson’s creations have been arrested and detained for acts unbecoming of a puppet. Today a military sweep of the Muppet home world has resulted in five arrests, countless citations, and a possible Gonzo movie deal. Shortly before the raid a witness claims the president asked a pedestrian, “Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street? No really, I want to fuck some of those fuzzy little shits up.”
