Tag Archive for political humor
Upon Entry Into U.S. Should Refugees Pass A Holy Waterboarding Test?
by Mick Zano •
Washington—Congress has advanced a bill encouraging people from war-ravaged parts of the Middle East to: “Stay the F put and make the best of it.” This bill also caps the number of refugees arriving from this region of the world to four. Those four lucky new Americans must agree to be blessed with Holy Water as part of the last phase of a new 37-step immigration process. Democrats are criticizing the bill as being “over the top” and “stupid, even for them.”
“Nonsense,” said Senator John Q. Republican. “This is not over the top, that is a Stallone movie. Look, not only can Holy Water expose and or burn potential Muslim terrorists, it might also keep vampires out of our country indefinitely. It’s win, win!”
Daily Discord: Breaking News…Really, Just Breaking It
by Mr. Sherman •
Jindal Claims He Never Recovered From Trump’s Anchor Baby Comments
by Mick Zano •
Bobby Jindal is dropping out of the presidential race and is blaming republican frontrunner, Donald Trump. The Donald claimed the only real “dropping” originated with his parents. Trump believes Jindal’s very foreign parents abandoned him on the steps of the Louisiana Governor’s office at the tender age of 34. He was then taken in by then Governor, Kathleen Blanco, who he eventually replaced by locking her out of her own home when she went out to get the groceries in 2007.
Did Ben Carson Confuse Giza With Vegas For His Important Pyramid Theory?
by Mick Zano •
Last of Gitmo Detainees Traded To Colorado Avalanche
by Mick Zano •
In a deal many republicans are calling “reckless” and “shortsighted”, The Department of Defense has traded the last of the Guantanamo detainees to the Colorado Avalanche. This move follows other controversial deals that have scattered the prisoners into several teams across the National Hockey League. One detainee is already in critical condition after being ‘Zamboni-boarded’ between periods by his own teammates.
In Wake Of Attacks Trump Dispatches Freedom Fry Fleet To France To Fight FRISIL
by Mick Zano •
Survey: 1 in 45 Children Autistic? Now Think About All Those Agencies The GOP Wants To Gut But Can’t Spell
by Mick Zano •
The Real Carson Retired to Tahiti! Is GOP Candidate One Of The Conjoined Twins Carson Operated On?
by Mick Zano •
Many are wondering how the lead republican nominee, Ben Carson, could possibly be a top pediatric neurosurgeon. Many of his comments seem astonishingly obtuse, especially for an accomplished math-a-physician. Today, there is mounting evidence Carson is not the good doctor, but is actually the patient! The Discord has exclusive evidence the person masquerading as Ben Carson is one of the two German conjoined twins he successfully separated in 1987. Granted the children in question are exceedingly white, Germanic, and were toddlers at the time, but it still remains a more plausible story than a neurosurgeon creationist who thinks the Great Pyramids are grain silos.
Debate Shifts Toward Policy: Turns Out Republicans Don’t Have Any
by Mick Zano •
Vegas interrupted my debate viewing pleasure a tad, but I got the gist of it. Small government (flashing lights and sounds), lower taxes (cocktail waitress), gut regulations (yellling from the craps table). I can’t stand these debates anymore. Leave me alone, Mr. Winslow! I’m in Vegas researching an important Guinness feature. I like Guinness, much more than I like conservatives. The republican debates were fun for a while but now it’s time to focus on other things, you know…like these gentlemen escorting me out of the casino.