Tag Archive for political humor

Crying Baby In Fourth Row Derails State Of The Union Address

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Barack Obama

Washington—A child, who apparently wanted “walkies”, became a key distraction last night during President Obama’s 8th and final State of the Union Address. Initially the President tried to make light of the situation, but the growing disruption caused him to lose his train of thought several times and eventually his patience. The President initially tried to make several jokes, some which garnered laughs like, “That kid is more mouthy than my VP” to other more offensive comments, such as “This is why I’m pro-choice, people.”

Rep. Joe Wilson of South Carolina shouted, “You cry!” in what many are calling an encore performance for his “You lie!” moment during Obama’s 2009 SOTU address.

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Mango Chipotle-gate? Bernie’s Beer Choice Brings Into Question His Entire Position Picking Prowess

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12366402_10101928889481867_8157748097383572738_nScrew Benghazi, this is the real scandal of our age. I haven’t written much about the Bernie Sanders’ phenomenon on this blog, but his imbibing a brew from one of my main hangouts demands a response. Historic Brewing, Bernie?! You’re on my turf now. There are reasons I would love to endorse the Bernster, but I also have some serious reservations. His questionable behavior at a recent Arizona beer festival has only increased my concerns about his candidacy. Not the commandeering of the Downtown Dawg vendor truck—that was The Discord gang—the other questionable behavior at a recent Arizona beer festival.

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North Korean Atomic Plume Linked To Un’s Introduction To Mexican Food

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kimjongunML

Pyongyang, DPRK—The supreme leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea announced today the successful detonation of an H-Bomb, the first such thermonuclear detonation in the country’s history. The U.S. Air Force immediately deployed a WC-135 Constant Phoenix aircraft as a radiation “sniffer” plane to test the properties of the radiation cloud created by the blast. The sniffer plane returned 90 minutes later holding its radar dome. Results of the analysis of the plume concluded it was comprised primarily of methane and Tapatio Salsa Picante, a popular Mexican hot sauce.

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Obama Vows To Spend Last Days In Office Collecting Guns & Bibles

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gunsreligionMLWashington—President Obama announced today he is not going to have a typical lame duck last term. For his final year in office, the President plans to acquire as many guns and Holy Bibles for his “personal collection” as possible. Obama told reporters, “I want to do something good while I’m still in office because, let’s face it, nothing good has happened so far. Heh, heh. I’m calling it: Operation 2nd Testament.”

Senator John Q. Republican was quick to condemn the move. “This is a clear attack on religion as well as our 2nd Amendment rights. If that Muslim son-of-a-burka comes anywhere near my gun or my Bible, I am going all Old Testament on his black ass. ”

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Dog Whistle Politics

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POL-Elephant%202-2TDog-whistle politics is a term that describes statements made by political candidates and people in elected positions phrased in ways intended to galvanize support from like-mined voters. At the same time such political revenuers try to avoid repulsing voters who are on the fence. “Family values” might be an example of a dog-whistle. Lately a less subtle form of political speech has entered the arena. It reminds me of a historic National Lampoon magazine cover from the 1970s showing a frightened dog with a gun pointed to its head. Of course, that was satire, but today’s GOP’s message is often as overt and offensive. For other examples of dog-whistle politics see anything on The Daily Discord.

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