Kidding….they’re just heading to Colorado on a road trip.
Tag Archive for humor
Developing: Town Of Helmand May Fall To Taliban
by Mick Zano •
On a more positive note: Helmand is kind of a shit hole anyway.
* The above image may not actually be the Afghani town of Helmand.
Should Auld Retractions Be Forgot?
by Mick Zano •
The Farce Awakens: Discord Offers Star Wars Conspiracy Theory
by Mick Zano •
Dog Whistle Politics
by Dr. Kwela Juluka •
Dog-whistle politics is a term that describes statements made by political candidates and people in elected positions phrased in ways intended to galvanize support from like-mined voters. At the same time such political revenuers try to avoid repulsing voters who are on the fence. “Family values” might be an example of a dog-whistle. Lately a less subtle form of political speech has entered the arena. It reminds me of a historic National Lampoon magazine cover from the 1970s showing a frightened dog with a gun pointed to its head. Of course, that was satire, but today’s GOP’s message is often as overt and offensive. For other examples of dog-whistle politics see anything on The Daily Discord.
Pelosi’s Efforts Nets “Huge Gains” For War On Christmas
by Mick Zano •
“This may be the most significant blow to X-Mas since Seal Team Soros took out FAO Schwartz.”
—General B. Humbug
Discord Becomes ‘War On Christmas’ Headquarters
by Mick Zano •
Heat Miser Presents Climate Change Counterargument To World Leaders
by Mick Zano •
Le Bourget, FR—World leaders reconvened in France today at the request of the Heat Miser. November’s meeting at the same venue was a multinational effort hailed as “the planet’s last, best hope to stave off the impact of climate change before the Force Awakens opens.” After a thorough Palinesque vetting process, The GOP chose The Heat Miser to present the republican counterargument. The controversial marionette demanded an immediate audience with the United Nations, so over 30,000 diplomats and delegates quickly assembled.
As part of his opening remarks, The Heat Miser insisted, “This has nothing to do with the ginormous check I recently received from the Koch Brothers.” During his 17-hour filibuster-style heated rant, The Miser presented a powerpoint presentation designed to repudiate global warming. The slides included an image of a person shivering after getting out of the shower, another person defrosting a very icy freezer, and Senator James Inhofe (R-OK) holding a fully intact snowball on the floor of Congress.
The Arnold V The Donald
by Mr. Sherman •
“Come with me if you want to leave. I’ll be wetback. AstalaVisa please.”
—Arnold Schwarzenegger
Kwik-E Mart Owner Notices Muslim Bias Up, Squishee Sales Down
by Mick Zano •
Springfield, ??—Kwik-E Mart owner, Apu Nahasapeemapetilo, has experienced an increase in Muslim bias in recent weeks. The business owner points directly to several sermons by one Reverend Timothy Lovejoy of The First Church of Springfield. The store owner claims the Reverend is intentionally inciting violence against Muslims through controversial Sunday scripture quotes, such as: ‘Blessed are the camel humping, towelheads’ and ‘In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. And then for some reason he filled the shittier parts with sand, oil and Arabs’.