Baja, MX—For reasons yet to be determined a massive school of Republican superdelegates beached themselves along the Baja coast earlier today. Some theorize the burden of backing Donald Trump at the Republican National Convention was simply too much for many to bear. Today’s events throw doubt as to the relative health and competence of the Grand Old Party and it raises existential questions, such as: if you tack too far right will you eventually come to water? Theories about the deaths range from a Trump suicide pact to a synchronized swimming event gone horribly wrong.
Four Enclosed Walls, AZ—We all have our share of bad luck, or in my case waking up in the morning. Sometimes during the worst of times housing can be the cause of your problems. Or you are having the worst of times because you have no housing. Or maybe your housing is having the worst of times. Whichever it is, housing can be a challenge, especially for single people. Don’t worry, you’ll get through these hard times and then you’ll land yourself in a steady relationship and things will get much much worse.
When she first came around, I was vaguely attracted to her, I don’t know why. Actually, I do know why: she had long red hair, and I’m a sucker for that stuff. Other than that, not really my type. Too thin. She was also a bit nutty, but that never stopped me before.