Tag Archive for satire

Neuroscientist Behind Deja Vu Breakthrough Nagged By Feeling He Aready Discovered It

 dejavumlNeuroscientists believe they have discovered the underpinnings of the phenomenon known as déjà vu. This happens when an individual gets the sensation an experience has already occurred. Unfortunately for one scientist, finding the answer has proven anything but rewarding. Dr. Stanley Whittle explains, “Déjà vu has always fascinated me. Not only the strange word and those even stranger dohickeys over two of the letters, but all the other really fun brain stuff. Essentially, it involves the conflict-checking region of the frontal lobes, but once this region is over-stimulated, well, it’s like biting the inside of your mouth. It keeps being triggered. Didn’t you just ask me that?”

Trump Unwilling To Back Off Claim That He Is Unwilling To Back Off Claims

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CNN’s Anderson Cooper asked Donald Trump today why he never seems to back down, even after an obvious gaffe. Mr. Cooper pointed out how lately the republican nominee seems to be constantly waffling, pivoting and offending, minus any accountability. Mr. Trump responded, “I don’t think that’s true. It’s not true. I can be accountable when necessary. Most of the time I am simply evolving from a correct position to an even more correct position. The best position. I have walked so much shit back in the last few weeks, Anderson, people are calling me a moonwalking ninja. Or maybe I just Tweeted that.”