Tag Archive for humor

Live Ammo Snipe Hunt Ends Badly

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police-line-forest

South Fork, MO—Cooter and Reeves had some city folks in town for the weekend, so they decided to round up the gang for the traditional Snipe Hunt initiation. As a result one person remains in cynical condition today after what many are calling a prank gone horribly hick. Snipe hunting enthusiasts insist tens of thousands of snipe hunting expeditions have ended without incident, but data to back these claims are lacking. Officials report the pair are facing a list of charges including, reckless endangerment, bootlegging moonshine, and hunting for snipe out of season. Meanwhile, officials have yet to clarify if the weapon at the heart of the investigation was a sniper rifle or a regular rifle used to hunt snipe.

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Drunk Teenager Falls Into Seal Den: 17 Cuddly Seals Gunned Down By Zoo-Keeper Extremists

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Cleveland, OH—High school sophomore, Josh Milgram, drank three Mad Dog 20/20s during a class field trip and decided he wanted to walk along the railing at the Cleveland Zoo’s seal enclosure. Within a few yards he fell face-first onto some rocks, directly amongst a family of ravenous seals. Mr. Milgram brandished his corn dog and began making what witnesses claim was a poor attempt at a light-saber sound effect. As the youngster started swinging his corn-dog saber the seals became restless and started barking their protests. This is when zoo officials acted and the seals were all gunned down in a hail of bullets.

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I Don’t Think Republicans Could See A Train Coming If Snidely Whiplash Tied Them To The Tracks In Front Of One

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twinkieOfLibertyHostessHere’s Pokey’s last article, dissected into tiny segments of wrongness for your enjoyment. And, yes, it will be humorous or my name isn’t Mick Zano …and it isn’t. When conservatives accidentally stumble upon the truth they always seem to claim ownership—not like scholars and gentlemen, more like cats. We can link back to who said what first, Pokey! Didn’t we have you neutered? Try utilizing the search button at the top of the website. Uh oh… I just thought of that scene from the end of Planet of the Apes:

 

Dr. Zira: What will he find out there, doctor?

Dr. Zaius: His destiny… (shudder).

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False Equivalency Or True Hypocrisy? Mick Zano, The Hipocritic Oaf

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HYPOCRISY_METERMick Zano argues that Democrats are not nearly as moronic, harmful, and sociopathic as Republicans. As an example he sites a scenario wherein a high percentage of polled Democrats would allow refugees from a non-existent country to enter the U.S.  He feels this is a far less reprehensible position than having a similarly high percentage of polled Republicans favor the bombing of this same fictional country. This example shows the disturbing flaws in the psychological make up of many of both Republicans and Democrats alike. When confronted with perceived threats both sides tend to instinctively react without reflection, but their irrational reactions are different. When Ricky Republican feels threatened he looks to blow up the first thing that moves, while Denny Democrat would rather open up his front door, raise his hands in the air and channel Neville Chamberlain. “Come into my house. Take anything you want, just please don’t hurt me! I’m a pluralist for fuck’s sake!”

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