Tag Archive for humor
Zuul The Gatekeeper Set To Transform Trump Into Gozer The Gozerian On Inaugration Day
by Mick Zano •
Sumer—The ancient Sumerian god, Gozer the Gozerian, is in the news again today after appearing on a rooftop building in the Big Apple. This malevolent deity known by many names, such as The Traveler, The Destructor and Sonny, is set to destroy the planet on January 20th. Zuul the Gatekeeper, and Vince Clortho, the Key Master, arrived ahead of Gozer in the shape of giant hounds. The Gozerian then asked a representative of mankind, in this case a Republican from Queens, how he would like the world to end. The god was reportedly as “surprised as anyone” that a New Yorker chose the form of Donald Trump for this grim task.
People Are Looking For Answers When This Is More Of A Summary
by Mick Zano •
Meet The New Dick ……………..Cheney
by Mick Zano •
Michael Pence is someone who’s been on the edge of my radar for a long time. This man is evil. His positions have always been a little too fire-and-brimstone for my tastes. There was a time when such beliefs were at the cutting edge of mankind’s collective consciousness …you know, like a thousand years ago. So what can we expect from the VP-elect? Lots of scandals, great scandals. The best scandals! Whereas Cheney was more of a Bond villain criminal-mastermind type, Pence will be more of the evangelical, holy warrior dropped-on-his-head-as-a-child-by-God type. Keep in mind, this group has a considerably lower IQ than the Bushies. Roll that around in your mouth for while. Actually, don’t do that. That’s probably how Ebola started.
Reality Check Please! A Message To The Hordes Of People Still Suffering From Reality Identification Disorder (RID)
by Mick Zano •
The Discord Called The Election For Hillary Just As Polls Opened
by Pierce Winslow •
You Will Be Missed, Donald Trump, At Least By Comedians
by Mick Zano •
Secret Service: Reno “Good Practice” For When Trump Policies Go Into Effect
by Mick Zano •
Reno, NV—Donald Trump was ushered off stage Saturday by Secret Service amidst a campaign rally after one of his supporters shouted “Fire Him!” in a crowded theater. Although the incident in Reno proved to be a false alarm, the Secret Service is hailing the event as “good preparation” for the increased challenges and risks associated with keeping a dictatorial moron safe for the next 4 to 8 years. The Secret Service will be conducting more such drills and expanding their repertoire to include nuclear drills, chemical warfare drills, as well as Rosie O’Donnell Sniper-attack Incident Exercises (ROSIEs).
We asked the head of the Secret Service, Bob, what a Trump Administration might mean for his organization. “We plan to be ready for all contingences,” said Bob. “It’s going to be like Olympus Has Fallen, London Has Fallen and ‘I’ve fallen and I can’t get up’ combined. On that note, we’re going to get him one of those Life Alert bracelets too. If we’re all partying hard in the Blue Room, we’ll just let those people handle it. We are also upgrading our nuclear war drills. Now we all crawl under the same grade-school desk for safety. It’s kind of like when a bunch of people climb into VW Bug. If Trump wins, we’re going to have grade-school desks scattered all around the White House, so we can have a safe location for Mr. Trump to tweet the nuclear codes #1234567BOOM!.”
