Tag Archive for comedy
Trump’s Primary Care Physician Weighs In On Health Status Controversy
by Mick Zano •
“Donald Trump is OK. And, with the check I just received for that two letter medical assessment, I can finally pay off my loans to Trump Medical College.” —Dr. Nick
Trumpunzel? The Donald Uses His Mega Yacht And Some Ingenuity To Save Stranded Louisianans
by Mick Zano •
“With my big hands I will rebuild this sorry soggy shithole of a state. It’s a shit hole. It’s true.”
—The Donald
4 Out Of 5 Bald Eagles Plan To Relocate To Canada Under A Trump Administration
by Mick Zano •
Trump Now Calling His ‘Obama Founder of ISIS’ Comment ‘A Pun’
by Mick Zano •
Youngstown, OH—During a key foreign policy speech this week, presumptive republican nominee Donald Trump referred to the sitting president as the “founder of ISIS”. Initially Mr. Trump defended his statement as did many prominent republicans familiar with the delusional arts. The Donald then changed tact by downgrading his remarks to a form of sarcasm. When it was explained how sarcasm implies wit or irony and that his statement was neither, Mr. Trump replied, “I meant a pun. It’s a Yuuge pun! Or what’s it called when a word is spelled the same way backward?” Mr. Trump was then explained that the palindrome for ISIS is SISI, which is not particular funny and somewhat plagiaristic.
Driving Miss Crazy: Will Trump Trigger GOP Reform Or Is This An Extinction Level Event?
by Mick Zano •
Sorry Republicans, but the DNC was a fairly impressive display. It delivered what the RNC never could, complete sentences. It was a shame how Putin and friends stole the libs mojo right before Act 1. Cossack Thunder? Oh, and I saw my first Hillary bumper sticker the other day! It was on the back of a limo, followed by a fleet of other limos …in Philadelphia …during the convention. Well, at least Hillary is ready for Hillary. One down, 57 million to go! I’d say she has two votes in the bag, but Bill always cheats when you leave him alone for five minutes. Proposition 69? If The GOP continues to get worse at math, maybe she can win the presidency with fewer electoral college votes. We’ll just tell Donald it’s like golf, the lowest score wins. No matter what happens in November, I remain proud of our current President. I know a lot of folks will be glad to see the Obamas go, but eventually you will come to realize how the highest office in the land demands a thoughtful/intelligent person. Kidding, Republicans are to realization as Cthulhu is to mindfulness.
Trump Has Transformed Politics, But Into What?
by Dr. Kwela Juluka •
Contrary to considerable negative public opinion, I must assert that Donald J. Trump is perhaps the best thing to happen to America in its entire history. His peculiar qualifications, non-conventional psychological constitution, and remarkable absence of self-control make him a distinctly influential political player. He has single-handedly ripped the shrouds of ambiguity and obfuscation off the face of the Republican Party, revealing in stark clarity the fundamental beliefs of his party.
“Donald is to politics what the Corvair was to automobiles, what lead was to house paint, what unsealed Tylenol was to the pharmaceutical bottle industry.”
Beach Closed After Sharks Found Feeding Off Carcass of Republican Party
by Mick Zano •
Laguna Beach, CA—The republican party became stranded in shallow waters earlier today and was quickly surrounded by sharks and devoured. Witnesses claim the political party became confused and seemed disoriented. One witnesses states, “The GOP was babbling to itself and then blundered into the water, while shouting obscenities directed at a flock of seagulls.” The 80s band Flock of Seagulls, best known for the song I ran, was unavailable for comment.
Republicans Fondly Recount That 24 Hr Period When Trump Didn’t Say Anything Really Stupid
by Mick Zano •
It seemed like only yesterday Trump was on point, because, well, it was only yesterday. The day before this gaffe-free-anomaly he was attacking babies and doubling-down on his criticism of the father of a fallen soldier. Today, back on course, Trump called for the assassination of his political opponent. No wonder he’s so fond of Putin. If they ever got married how would they pull off a reception with both KGB and KKK in attendance? Luckily Putin is staunchly homophobic and probably has his male lovers killed. Hey, but maybe if this doesn’t work out they can still be poison pen pals?
