Tag Archive for bernie sanders

We The Discord, In Order To Form A More Perfect Onion

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constitutionzanonMLI’m not changing the Constitution, Pokey! I just added the beer mugs. The Founding Fathers would eat that shit up, or in this case drink. Thursday’s Dem debate showed two conscientious people who understand the intricacies of today’s problems. They offered real strategies, solutions, specifics and even the historical context behind each issue. Republicans, meanwhile, sound like no one studied for the middle school debate final. I think if you asked them to define Glass-Steagall, they’d say, “Isn’t that the department store across from Macy’s?” They have a few prepared talking points—rehearsed in front of a mirror with an air guitar, no doubt—and then they insert these gems randomly into the discourse. It’s like listening to someone with Tourette’s contract encephalitis during a brain fart.

“Sure some things are ideologically driven on the left, but EVERYTHING is ideologically driven on the right, and when I say driven, I’m talking Captain Ahab with roid rage. And what is the result? The Republican candidates’ domestic policies are incomprehensible and their foreign policies are unconscionable.”

This is a response to the article: It’s The Constitution, Zano, Not Your Articles Of Degeneration.

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Bernie V Trump: Clash Of The Whitens

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BernieVTrumpML

This rather extreme scenario, Bernie V Trump, may actually playout on the political stage. Granted, it may not go down exactly like the picture, but probably something pretty close. Folks are so disgusted with the establishment, we’re all fringing out. I fear liberals are moving too far ahead of today’s cultural psyche. We are not ready for a Bernie Sanders. Republicans are also too advanced…uh, were this the era when our oceans were dominated by those shelled squid-like things. Its amazing to me what the republican party has become, but what’s more amazing is how so few of them have seemed to notice.

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Mango Chipotle-gate? Bernie’s Beer Choice Brings Into Question His Entire Position Picking Prowess

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12366402_10101928889481867_8157748097383572738_nScrew Benghazi, this is the real scandal of our age. I haven’t written much about the Bernie Sanders’ phenomenon on this blog, but his imbibing a brew from one of my main hangouts demands a response. Historic Brewing, Bernie?! You’re on my turf now. There are reasons I would love to endorse the Bernster, but I also have some serious reservations. His questionable behavior at a recent Arizona beer festival has only increased my concerns about his candidacy. Not the commandeering of the Downtown Dawg vendor truck—that was The Discord gang—the other questionable behavior at a recent Arizona beer festival.

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Bernie Blunt About Blunts: Proposition 420

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Bernie sanders on legalization

Burlington, VT—Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) told The Discord today he supports both medical marijuana and the decriminalization of cannabis. Senator Sanders is also open to the recreational use of marijuana for the strict purpose of increasing the creativity of a certain group of spoof news bloggers, “who really seem to suck without it.”

Sanders told reporters, “I have read The Discord’s material with and without marijuana and there’s only one way to enjoy their quirky brand of political humor. I have carefully studied the research on cannabinoid creativity enhancers (CCEs) and (cough) without legalization these guys are going tits up. To be blunt about blunts, they need to smoke more pot and so do their readers.”

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Would We Like Them Better With Beards?

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Sanders To Equally Distribute Campaign Contributions To Other Candidates

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WASHINGTON, DC - JUNE 17: Senate Budget Committee ranking member and presidential candidate U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) (L) delivers opening remarks duing a committee hearing in the Dirksen Senate Office Building on Capitol Hill June 17, 2015 in Washington, DC. The committe heard testimony from Congressional Budget Office Director Keith Hall who said that federal debt would climb to over 100-percent of the total GDP by 2040 without major spending course correction. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

 Madison, WI—The self-proclaimed socialist, Bernie Sanders (I-Vt), is rocking the campaign trail. Over the course of the last three months he has raised an estimated 15-million dollars. The current Vermont Senator made a bold statement in Wisconsin today, “I am not having any of it…well, more accurately, I’m only going to have some of it.” In the true spirit of socialism, Sanders plans to divvy the funds equally between all the other Democratic presidential hopefuls.

Sanders told reporters, “Socialism works and Hillary doesn’t. Can you say, Benghazi? No really, the H is silent. It’s weird. Anyway, I’m just glad I’m running on the Democratic ticket. Hell, if I had to split the money on the republican side I’d have to raise enough to fund the Defense Department just to get enough for a Starbucks.

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