Airbnb CEO Brian Chesky told the Discord today that his company is in direct negotiations with the White House. The most successful peer-to-peer home rental company is now trying to partner with government for what they are describing as some prime unoccupied real estate. “When we think Trump appointees, we envision a lot of space,” said Chesky, “so why not start renting this shit out? When someone says empty spaces the first thought is Dr. Ben Carson, well, besides that Floyd song. As the head of the housing authority, renting out Dr. Carson’s empty suit might be a conflict of interest. Then I had that aha moment. Betsy DeVos’ paint suit represents cheap temporary lodging for all kinds of young adults who will no longer be in high school.
Tag Archive for humor
Four More Confirmation Hearings Set For Next Week: Pestilence, Famine, War and Death.
by Mick Zano •
Trump calling poorly decided court outcomes “fake verdicts” in an effort to keep doing the “right” thing.
Linguists Abandon ‘Shitshow’ In Quest For Better Word To Describe 21st Century GOP: Miraculousy? Shartaclysmic?
by Mick Zano •
Taos, NM—Wordsmith and linguistics guru, Dr. Sterling Hogbein, unveiled his latest endeavor to search for a word that epitomizes today’s conservative party. Dr. Hogbein told reporters today, “I was having some Ramen noodles the other day when, on a whim, I added a dash of Emeril’s spice, Essence. I then proceeded to spill the entire steaming bowl onto my groin. That’s when I thought, the word ‘shitshow’ no longer captures the essence of today’s conservatism! We need a new word! Then I called 911 and promptly sued Emeril Lagasse.”
Is A Trump ‘Special’ Tweet At Heart Of Botched Yemen Special Ops Raid?
by Mick Zano •
Seven Nation Harmy? Seattle Judge Who Halted Trump’s Muslim Ban Mysteriously Assassinated In Drone Strike
by Mick Zano •
Seattle, WA—The White House is denying any involvement in the drone strike assassination of a Seattle Federal Judge. The judge in question, and now in pieces, Judge James “Rowdy” Robart, entered an order on Friday forbidding federal agents to enforce Trump’s seven-country immigration ban on the grounds it’s “really fucking stupid.” Less than 24 hours later Judge Rowdy was blasted apart in an incident that was initially reported as a radical meteor, spontaneous judicial combustion, or a fart-lighting incident gone horribly astray.
The Discord Doesn’t Always Do The Wonka Meme, But When We Do…
by Mick Zano •
Trump, Pence, Ryan First Politicians To Successfully Attempt The Triple Reacharound!
by Mick Zano •
New Evidence Confirms Trump’s Inauguration Crowd Larger Than Obama’s
by Mick Zano •
Good to see our new President finally vindicated for at least one of his babbling, incoherent statements.
Trump Requires All EPA Publications To First Pass A ‘Putz-Review’ Prior To Release
by Mick Zano •
Tweet Tower—After a media blackout at the Environmental Protection Agency the lights are finally back on today, for now. After an intense meeting, the Trump administration has ordered the EPA to clear all future studies with a designated appointee before disseminating the information to the public. They are calling the newly vetted information: politically-modified-science (PMS). Kellyanne Conway explains, “Look, we have a Trump Transition team designed to transition this important information into something more useful to your average American. Call them ‘fun size’ facts. It’s just an extra check that we call putz-reviewed, oh, and we improved the EPA’s logo for no extra charge to the tax payer.”
