The Fourth Circle of Hell—Many are questioning the devil’s decision to host the first presidential debate. What’s even more disturbing for some is Lucifer’s choice to hold the event in the fourth circle. Dante’s Hell has a total of nine circles, and four bathrooms, but recent national polling indicates the majority of Americans feel the debate should be held in a much lower circle.
Liberal V Delusional has always been a main theme here in ZanoLand. Instead of just covering known cognitive distortions and how they relate to today’s politics, I would like to submit my own term for beer review ….uh, peer review. I have already covered political propaganda for years, and yet I still have no idea why these techniques are so wildly effective on reasonably intelligent people. This is supposed to be the Age of Information, so how does AM radio and rightwing media still appeal to so many? Stranger still, their audiences wait frothing at the mouth for their next erroneous prediction. Assical Conditioning? Make no mistake, it’s happening on the left as well. I have stood by the mixed effectiveness of such tactics on liberals, until now. Millennials are gullible little shits and the gap is quickly closing. In fact, I think they’ve already replaced mine with a Spencer Gifts.
In related news:
Trump denies spelling internment wrong on Twitter. Merriam Webster issues a formal apology to Emperor Trump.
Baja, MX—For reasons yet to be determined a massive school of Republican superdelegates beached themselves along the Baja coast earlier today. Some theorize the burden of backing Donald Trump at the Republican National Convention was simply too much for many to bear. Today’s events throw doubt as to the relative health and competence of the Grand Old Party and it raises existential questions, such as: if you tack too far right will you eventually come to water? Theories about the deaths range from a Trump suicide pact to a synchronized swimming event gone horribly wrong.
Agrabah—In a move that some are calling premature, Donald Trump is already Tweeting other world leaders in an effort to make America Tweet Again. Mr. Trump told the press today, “Lately I have been Tweeting a lot in the middle of the night, but not all of it is just Rosie O’Donnell and Hillary Clinton jokes. It’s not. Sure that’s most of it, but I am also negotiating big deals, right now, with some major players across the Twitterverse.” #BigAgrabahOilDeal
A prime example of a false equivalency appeared in my last article, which made me realize I haven’t done justice to this subject, or any other subject for that matter. False equivalencies are a prevalent tactic for the GOP. It’s the cognitive distortion of choice for a group who keeps trying to make the argument that they still have an argument. Today’s obvious example is Trump V Hillary. “Say what you want about Trump, but that Hillary is just as bad!” On what fucking planet? Benghazi Colony IV? They really believe they’re equally incompetent/evil. In reality one would preside over a third Obama-like recovery and the other would bomb Canada. Get to the escape pods! The Benghazi Colonies are under attack from the Decepto-neocons!
