…which president’s nose and particular nostril to be determined.
Tag Archive for political satire
Attorney General’s Choice Of Lunch Pail Questioned
by Mick Zano •
Washington—Attorney General Jeff Sessions attended a scheduled committee meeting today toting a Bee Gees lunch box. Those close to Mr. Sessions are wondering whether this is a message to his staff that he is ah-ah-ah-ah Stayin’ Alive, or if he just has really shitty taste in retro music. One staffer believes it’s a cue directly aimed at her, as the Bee Gees’ song More Than A Woman is “their song”, or at least he has repeated that claim to her during Session sessions, which resemble a 50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey kind of thing as performed by the Burlesque Bilbo Bobbitt Hobbits.
Happy 4th? The Last Nationalistic Bone In My Body Has Osteoporosis, Which Is Now A Preexisting Condition
by Mick Zano •
Why do liberals hate America? Maybe they just hate the stupid parts, which tend to be Republican in nature. At least North Korea didn’t vote for their own sociopathic man-child. Patriotism isn’t dead, it’s just brain dead. Z-exiting wouldn’t be easy, of course, but part of me wants to pull the old Daltrey and “put out the fire, and don’t look past my shoulder.” How do you outrun WWIII or the next global economic recession? We can’t escape from ourselves. Conservatives will continue to be the next unnecessary war/global recession people. Trumpcare currently has a 17% approval rating, so when is the Republican party itself going to be as unpopular as its deeds? Those will be the dystopic days worth living for. Why am I ready to give up on the greatest democratic experiment in human history? If America was a bar, this would the part when the lights blare on and you’re forced to acknowledge your poor choices. So… I didn’t miss my shoes and, hey, weren’t you on the faces of meth?
Trump’s Venue Change For The 4th Of July Naturalization Ceremony Raises Eyebrows & Possibly The Dead
by Mick Zano •
New York, NY—For the past 54 years the Independence Day Celebration and Naturalization Ceremony has taken place at Monticello in Charlottesville, Virginia. In a surprise move President Trump has broken with tradition and held the event at a clandestine Satanic Temple in NYC. This decision was met with harsh criticism from many Democrats, and even some Republicans are questioning the move, at least privately, during black mass sessions.
When Lumberg Speaks, People Listen
by Mick Zano •
Can This Popular Icon Save Trumpcare? Capitol Hill Damaged During Speaker’s Entrance
by Mick Zano •
Washington, DC—Vice President Mike Pence is doing his best today to sell a less than popular healthcare bill. Republicans took all the usual steps, including lying and relabeling, but to no avail. They are saying that the increased number of uninsured Americans, Pioneer Health Recipients and Obama death panels, which didn’t actually exist under the ACA, will be created and called Obama Death Panels. After these maneuvers did little to sweeten the pot for the naysayers, Pence suddenly yelled, “Hey, Kool Aid!”
Trump Annexes Rival Golf Course!
by Mick Zano •
Miami, FL—President Donald Trump announced his intention to improve business at his Doral Miami golf resort by annexing the nearby Biltmore golf resort at Coral Gables. Donald Trump told the press today, “This is legal, totally legal. As president of the United States I can seize land through the use of executive orders. Obama seized millions of acres, the greedy bastard, and I’m just taking a few hundred acres of a pesky golf course that’s been cutting into my operations. You should stay at my Trump Doral golf resort! It’s amazing and now it will have even less competition. So I will be hiking rates accordingly. Check for it online on Trumpvago. Yeah, I annexed Trivago as well. Hey, I’m the first in virtual annexation. Not bad, eh?”
Millennials Furious Trump May End Their Opportunity To One Day Destroy The Country
by Mick Zano •
Outer Portlandia—Missing November’s election has had clear consequences for young people and humans in general. In response, millennials across the country are banding together like never before, just to complain about shit. The majority feel gipped as they want their chance to end our republic. Thousands of angry Portlandians shouted obscenities and held signs today that read, “Please leave stuff for us to wreck!” and “I’m almost angry enough to vote!” A recent polls shows 75% of people under the age of 25 are still not planning to vote in the 2018 midterms, but more than 80% of this demographic intend to either continue protesting and/or join relevant FacbookWhineGroups.
More Details Emerge From G-7: Did Trump Actually Say “G-7, You Sank My Battleship”?
by Mick Zano •
Is Satire Getting A Flat Tire In the Wake Of Fake?
by Cokie McGrath •
I recently had the honor and privilege of interviewing my jerk face friend, Mick Zano. We met over a beer in downtown Flagstaff to discuss fake news, satire, and what Zano calls the State of the Onion. We had our fair share of battles in the lead up to the election, as he was a little more Bernie and I was totally with her. Post the election, we both fear for our country’s future at the hands of this mad man. Though it pains me to admit it, the Zanster has made some good points over the beers. Whether you call it fake, satire, spoof, or per the website ‘pseudo journalistic’, the Discord continues to be a fun and informative read. But he’s still a jerk face and he made me say that under duress!