Someone needs to introduce the leader of the free world to both Merriam and Webster.
Tag Archive for comedy
Seven Nation Harmy? Seattle Judge Who Halted Trump’s Muslim Ban Mysteriously Assassinated In Drone Strike
by Mick Zano •
Seattle, WA—The White House is denying any involvement in the drone strike assassination of a Seattle Federal Judge. The judge in question, and now in pieces, Judge James “Rowdy” Robart, entered an order on Friday forbidding federal agents to enforce Trump’s seven-country immigration ban on the grounds it’s “really fucking stupid.” Less than 24 hours later Judge Rowdy was blasted apart in an incident that was initially reported as a radical meteor, spontaneous judicial combustion, or a fart-lighting incident gone horribly astray.
The Discord Doesn’t Always Do The Wonka Meme, But When We Do…
by Mick Zano •
Trump, Pence, Ryan First Politicians To Successfully Attempt The Triple Reacharound!
by Mick Zano •
New Evidence Confirms Trump’s Inauguration Crowd Larger Than Obama’s
by Mick Zano •
Good to see our new President finally vindicated for at least one of his babbling, incoherent statements.
Trump Requires All EPA Publications To First Pass A ‘Putz-Review’ Prior To Release
by Mick Zano •
Tweet Tower—After a media blackout at the Environmental Protection Agency the lights are finally back on today, for now. After an intense meeting, the Trump administration has ordered the EPA to clear all future studies with a designated appointee before disseminating the information to the public. They are calling the newly vetted information: politically-modified-science (PMS). Kellyanne Conway explains, “Look, we have a Trump Transition team designed to transition this important information into something more useful to your average American. Call them ‘fun size’ facts. It’s just an extra check that we call putz-reviewed, oh, and we improved the EPA’s logo for no extra charge to the tax payer.”
It’s Going To Take A Certain Skillset To Survive This Shit: Gandalf/Dumbledore 2020!
by Mick Zano •
Truck Filled With Alternative Facts Crashes En Route To White House
by Mick Zano •
Indianapolis, IN—A semi-truck loaded with alternative facts slid off of Route I-465 earlier today as a result of some slippery political conditions. The truck toppled and the trailer ripped open scattering endless conservative crapola all over the interstate. The incident caused two lane closures and may have triggered several nonsensical executive orders. The shipment of Alt-Facts was set to arrive at the White House on Wednesday. The Trump Administration admitted some of the material was slated for use during an upcoming Trump press conference. Amongst the hodgepodge of circus-like wreckage included tens of thousands of marbles, but Republicans remain adamant that they clearly lost their marbles long ago.
Trump Vows To Drone Strike “Jerk” In Back Of Press Conference
by Mick Zano •
Tweet Tower—During a press conference earlier today, President Ass-Clown Hitler made it very clear that he would consider an executive order to eliminate a journalist who asked particularly pointed questions. When a second reporter questioned the president’s ability to assassinate an American citizen on American soil without due process, Trump responded, “It’s easy enough to make it a two for Tuesday thing, which is tomorrow, so watch your ass! That being the case, there wouldn’t be enough time to get ‘permission’ from the judge, who I paid off already, by the way. So next softball question.”
