Tag Archive for political satire

A Review Of Zano’s Review Of Wilber’s “Trump And A Post-Truth World”

by Pokey McDooris • November 15, 2017

Someone needs to put Zano back in his place and that someone is me! He’s starting to get a little too smug in his old age and sometimes he needs reminded he’s not a Jedi yet. This is a rebuttal of sorts to his feature: A Review Of Ken Wilber’s ‘Trump And A Post-Truth World’: Or, How I Stopped Evolving And Learned To Love The Trump. First off, Wilber is correct in his assessment of the problem. Post-modernism has promoted an individualistic pluralism that assumes that all values are self-constructed and relative; therefore the only true value is tolerance. But there is no way to come to a consensus on any given disputed moral issue. Every individual is free to do whatever they want so long as they stay clear of the legal restraints. The problem? A nation without virtue, rots from within. Also, a blog without merit sews only Discord. Snap. For a crash course in virtue-rot I refer to Exhibit A: Mick Zano’s undergraduate studies. Kidding, Zano (sort of).

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by Mick Zano • November 13, 2017

Bowling Green, KY—Senator Rand Paul was assaulted by a friend and neighbor last week during an incident many are calling ‘typical’ for this particular rural setting. Kentucky State Police have since taken the senator’s 59-year-old assailant and buddy into custody, so Mr. Paul has since moved to have all charges dropped. “Cooter and I get into these little spats now and again,” said the senator. “You know, like when he tries to steal my moonshine, or I try to steal his healthcare. He’s also mad at me because I’m always trying to hit on his sister, well, when he’s not. You gotta be fast around old Cooter, ha! Oh, and his sister has a preexisting lung condition that we call Kentucky Fried Lungs. We order our lungs extra crispy around here, which is also not covered anymore.”

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by Mick Zano • November 11, 2017

Danang, VT—Although President Vladimir Putin admitted to loving the Ivan the Spy episodes from the old television show Gilligan’s Island, he told the world press today, “As a former member of the KGB, I have never been, nor will I ever be someone’s ‘little buddy’. And I certainly did not call President Trump’s fashion designer to coordinate outfits.” Donald Trump has a similar tale to tell. The president claims he just wanted to wear a Skipper’s hat “as a goof.” Despite the world leader’s statements, Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller is already following the money and has scheduled interviews with millionaire Thurston Howell III as well as an actress implicated in the wardrobe decision, Ginger Grant.

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by Mick Zano • November 10, 2017

The Kremlin—President Donald Trump is denying allegations he met with any Russians on his trip to Moscow this week. The official word from the White House is that no meeting occurred and there’s nothing for Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller to investigate. They then added Mr. Mueller should probably just stop his investigating all together and find something more productive to do with his free time, like quilting or something. This does not match a leaked staffer’s account of the trip. The unknown staffer alleges President Trump did meet with President Putin during his formal meeting with him yesterday in Moscow, and the two did work in some light colluding over dinner, between courses.

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by Mick Zano • November 8, 2017

Tweet Tower—Two members of the White Council descended from the Misty Mountains of Rivendell today to bestow unto President Trump the coveted Sword of Tweétit-nuiân. The High Elves complained of boredom since the conclusion of the whole “ring thing” and felt ready to “stir some shit up again.” They stand ready to come to the aid of the armies of men once more. Rivendell has very limited cable; they apparently only get Fox News, which has made them very wary of the actions of both Kim Jong Un and the Whitewater Witch, Hillary Clinton.

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by Mick Zano • November 7, 2017

Agrabah—On Saturday night, after saying ‘Live from Dubai, it’s Saturday night!’, Saudi Arabian officials announced the arrest of 11 of their own Princes. They later added, “because our Princes go to 11.” King Salman’s number one, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, informed the Saudi press today, “I am the King’s number one and some of my friends really stepped in number two.” The Crown Prince is denying this is an attempt to consolidate power, “We have arrested 11 of our own. This is truly a sad day …for them. It’s really an even dozen Princes if you count Abdul bin Drinkin’, the jerk formerly known as Prince. He adopted some kind of symbol for his name. Crazy. I deported him too, but he can’t get on the plane because of the whole symbol thing. In the immortal words of the Beatles, We Can Work It Out. They are still family, so I chose to deport them to a country with both universal healthcare and an Olive Garden. I mean, I’m not a heartless Shiite for Allah’s sake.”

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by Mick Zano • November 6, 2017

Portlandia, WA—Liberals are scrambling to find an answer for the steadily right-shifting SCROTUM (Supreme Court: Republican Old-white Trumpian Ultra Morons). Liberals can’t stand having their SCROTUMs shift in that direction, so a team of top liberal researchers contacted the Simpsons/Futurama people with a plan. Together they have assembled the best team of medical, cryogenic and animational-engineers in an attempt to keep liberal Supreme Court judges on the payroll until a proper president can be installed in the Oval Office.

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by Mick Zano • October 27, 2017

Tweet Tower—As the criticism of the federal response to hurricane-ravaged Puerto Rico continues, El Presidente has hatched a plot to save the people of that fair territory. President Trump intends to award a 400-million dollar contract to Dominos pizza. In short order, the franchise is expected to set up a chain of pizza shops designed to sustain the people of Puerto Rico indefinitely.

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by Mick Zano • October 26, 2017

Ken Wilber is often hailed as the smartest guy you never heard of. For an ‘integral’ part of his theory, Wilber built on Jean Gebser’s work on societal and evolutionary development, which suggest societies move through levels of consciousness as they grow, ie: tribal, fundamental, entrepreneurial, liberal, infinity and beyond. Buzz Enlightenedyear? Throughout his tenor, Wilber has generally ignored republican antics in favor of lib coaching (Summary Alert: with deeper levels of consciousness, comes greater responsibility). In Trump And A Post-Truth World, Wilber labels the main pitfall of liberals as ‘aperspectival madness’, or how pluralism (moral-relativism) has paved the way for this truthless post-modern landscape. Progressives tend to insist that all perspectives are equal and, in such a world, truth itself dissolves into an egalitarian nightmare. He also points to the onslaught of fake news as contributing to the problem and how search engines are weaponizing shitty viewpoints by trading meaning for popularity. He rails against click-bait, which *cough* reminds me, before reading further please like and share my Man Trapped On Whataburger Roof Calls 911 For Rising Cholesterol Levels.

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by Mick Zano • October 23, 2017

Tweet Tower—President Trump is rolling back his earlier statements to Defense Secretary General James Mattis. A White House staffer suggests the president ‘floated the idea’ of purposely botching a mission, so he could write a better condolence speech for the families of the fallen. President Trump said, “I know how to make the best condolence speech, and I just want to try it out so people will just shut up and let me start another war. Do you have any idea the bump in polls I’d get if I get us into another war? Me neither, but it’s worth a shot, lots of shots. Brings new meaning to the words you’re fired!”

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