Tag Archive for political humor

Moguls Unite Form Of Rubio

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darth rubioIf only republicans could harness Rubio’s palpableness, or, in this case, his Palaptineness. I like to start off by not making sense, but let me explain how our democracy works today. Sorry that I used the words democracy and works and today in the same sentence. Boy, I’m off to a worse start than the Mets. Republicans can’t identify their best and brightest, which is shocking when one considers how few exist. Celestially speaking, if republicans were a heavenly body they would be a black hole. They’re a large light-bending mass capable of sucking the air out of any room, and then the room, and then the planet the room is situated on. Theory of Irrelativity?

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Children Of The Corny Turning On Trump? Will Iowa Be Trump’s Waterloo?

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trumpiowa2

Halloween 2015 finds Donald Trump spooked and crashing back to Earth like Wild E. Coyote meets Icarus meets a certain David Bowie movie. Polls show Ben Carson topping Trump as much as 14% in the state that holds the first key challenge. The Donald is hoping to change his fortunes there, but as he tours through the heartland many of the locals are demanding he, “Go back to Las Altantic, you moran!” and, “We’re voting for the neurosturgeon, dummy!” These are typically accompanied by other encouraging shouts for Ben Carson, in the form of racial slurs. Most of these tend to take the form of Blazing Saddles quote variations, such as: “The new sheriff is a neurosturgeon” and “Lookee here, boys, where all the white voters at?”  It typically gets worse after happy hour.

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