Dumb Texts

This page is dedicated to the non stop dumb ass texts that are exchanged regularly between Discord Staff. Each week we pick our favorite to share with our four fans.

Mango Chipotle-gate? Bernie’s Beer Choice Brings Into Question His Entire Position Picking Prowess

Posted: January 12, 2016

Screw Benghazi, this is the real scandal of our age. I haven’t written much about the Bernie Sanders’ phenomenon on this blog, but his imbibing a brew from one of my main hangouts demands a response. Historic Brewing, Bernie?! You’re on my turf now. There are reasons I would love to endorse the Bernster, but I…

The View from My Guinness: A Stout Pours in Sedona

Posted: March 31, 2011

I have been living in northern Arizona for almost a few years now and I have both loved and loathed nearby Sedona. It’s such wonderful place, a place sacred to both the Hopi and hobo alike, and yet there’s always something missing. One thing that comes to mind is the lack of a well poured Guinness—actually, any Guinness for that matter.

Put The Fish Bladder Back Guinness Or I’m Cancelling Happy Hour At Murphy’s!

Posted: November 21, 2015

Las Vegas, NV—It’s been awhile since I’ve paid homage to the Guinness Gods, but I wish I was returning to this topic under better circumstances. I bring terrible news. It’s not about the Mets; it’s much worse. Guinness is taking the trace amounts of fish bladder from their famous malt-roasted magic. I know, I know,…