This isn’t about healing anymore, it’s about collapsing. I’m afraid that’s the only trick left in the republican bag of tricks. Speaking of bags, why not stuff your political party into one, light it on fire, and leave it in on someone’s porch? I would say ‘wake up’, but it’s probably best to stay asleep at this point. Trumptophan? In 2017 why bother having a political opinion at all? Our political fortunes are akin to Sartre and Camus collaborating on a country western song during a Walking Dead episode. So let’s focus on what matters now, hoarding Ramen. If you’ve read some Zano, my political posts are essentially a funny, yet damning indictment of the party that will eventually be our undoing. Despite my 11 followers, the political right has grown into the strong, delusional force that we see today. It’s not histrionics to say we’re history. Them’s the facts. Now that the republicans have a super majority, let’s channel some Zevon as our ride is here. So I propose a toast, to being toast!
Instead of dealing with election night, I took my daughter to watch the Marx Brother’s Duck Soup over at NAU. It’s about a crazy little place that goes the full shit-show after appointing an even crazier person to lead them. I’m talking about NAU’s Dean Van Slyke. What did you think I was talking about? Anyway, this was the perfect movie to watch on the eve of a pending banana republic.
Why are Republicans still ranting on Face Book? You enjoy a super majority, so why the sad face? I think they’re like the ten-year-old who wants to borrow dad’s Ferrari, but deep down realizes they probably shouldn’t. Yet somehow overall consumer confidence is soaring this week, here. So, is everyone else wrong and I’m right? Yes. I have absolutely no confidence in these consumers! I don’t care if you got a great Black Friday deal, return that orange monstrosity at once! Did you at least keep the electoral receipt? On some level republicans must understand they have the prognostication skills of a door jam. Fear not, I’m predicting they will continue to defend the indefensible and hang onto those last scraps of Breitbart-level thought-feces.
Why, with the pending coronation of Ass-Clown Hitler, is everyone climbing onto the unity wagon? Even Bill Maher? I don’t get it. Not the Zano Nation. They’ll never take the Insightful Eleven alive! Never! How about that Supreme Court pick you owe us? You want unity? Unify this! (Yes, I’m making an inappropriate cupping gesture).
Oh, come on, Zano, let’s just talk to republicans and try to…
Noooo! You’re out of the club! I guess it’s the Insightful Ten now. We can’t talk to them; that’s exactly what they’re expecting us to do. Besides, it’s too late for that. In the 21st century, republicans react to facts the way Dracula would to a tanning salon giftcard. There’s no explaining stuff to them anymore. Haven’t you noticed? Through a new built in media reality-protection system (MRPS), they can now ignore anything meaningful. I’m sure eventually they’ll have a drug for this:
On Real Time last week Eric Holder agreed that liberals live in a bubble, but added, “At least it’s still permeable.” That is a fair assessment, but nothing of relevance reaches the Fox Nation any longer. The conservative approach is simply not going to jive with a future fraught with limited resources, climate change, and globalization. These concepts are beyond them, like multiplication. You’re average American feels they should be doing much better, when there’s no evidence to support this notion. That’s how, at least in part, Zano Probability Ranges (ZPRs) will continue to predict our pending demise.
I originally hatched my Grand Unified Theory Thingie (GUTT) in 2004.
This graph, courtesy of Dave Atsals’ Commodore-64 and some whiskey, summarizes my long-term predictions. ZPRs compare fairly savvy administrations (D) to grossly incompetent ones (R). Since Obama’s arrival there’s been no evidence we can return to some manufacturing juggernaut and resume a business as usual approach to our economy. The 2008 Barack Probability Range (PBR) had a full depression on one end to the new-normal that ultimately occurred on the other. Obama overachieved a bit. A similar range existed for Hillary, who would have likely kept us afloat in this new-normal mode. A Trump Administration, or any republican for that matter, represents a very different ZPR. The 2016 model ranges from a double-dip recession, at best, to a full economic collapse and/or WWIII at worst. This is what we can expect from President Ass-Clown Hitler.
I realize this means nothing to a republican, facts never do.
I always knew this period of relative stability—would likely be followed by a final collapse under the next republican president. So even a Kasich or a Rubio would have brought us to this same sad fate. Trump represents a more interesting descent, at least from a nihilistic spoof-news perspective (NSNP). I told my father six months before the Great Recession to protect his assets and invest in The Daily Discord. He did neither. That is the only financial advise I have ever offered anyone (no shit), well, besides my no-cal beer battered pizza parlor.
I still would like to know how, minus any positive reinforcement, the republican narrative avoided extinction. Pavlov’s elephants? If you ring a bell within a mile of any republican, they’ll extrapolate (those who can multitask will also drool). Even if I’m wrong, what a ridiculous economic model. Hey, it’s 2016, so let’s maintain a fossil-fuel driven economy wholly based on rampant consumerism! Wow. We need a republican approach like we need another hole in the ozone.
The double whammy for me is how one of the misinformation kingpins is now sitting in the White House. Stephen “Steve I-can’t-even-decide-how-to-spell-my-first-name” Bannon. Somewhere Andrew Breitbart is looking down and smiling. Kidding, he’s looking up. Why not ban real news and leave the fake shit alone? More on that in my next rant.
I’ve broken character since election day and posted as Zano on FB, badly, but this is not an apology. Generally, I don’t like arguing with folks I may like personally but who remain politically impaired. But there is no excuse for what happened on November 8th. How did Brangelina reach a full custody agreement! At this point there’s no longer any merit to sparing the feelings of the terminally clueless so please allow those of us with some scant traces of political insight to mourn the death of our democracy.
Since the election, some of us are drinking a bit more, or smoking a bit more, or in one case chasing a pack of wild javelina up a culvert. That last sordid tale comes courtesy of one, Zick Mano, after some rye whiskey. Those beasties may be mean, but apparently not as mean as a liberal scorned. My apologies to the town of Prescott, and to the alpha.
Republicans voted for Trump on a bad bet, because the house always wins …White or otherwise. Again, you can not command an economy and the world’s largest military from a place of delusion—well, you can, but results may vary (within established ZPR thresholds). So after much gnashing of teeth I’ve resolved to continue covering the coming train wreck here on The Discord, with midget porn jokes, of course. Indeed, we must all speak out against the encroaching stupid—which is, incidentally, also my favorite H.P. Lovecraft novel.
My GOP Recommendation:
Start thinking about who to blame for the pending economic collapse. If you get out on front on this one, that’ll be a first.
I suffered eight excruciating years under Incurious George and then eight more of my own vote negated by the same brain trusts who brought us to the edge of ruin. It isn’t that you took an average politician and made her into a monster. It’s not even that you created a real monster to fight the imaginary one. It’s how Drudge, Breitbart and the rest of the alt-right sewer scum convinced over 61-million people to vote for Ass-Clown Hitler. So don’t you dare blame a liberal for what’s about to happen to this country …or to the javelina population in the greater Prescott area. Fine! I will take the blame for that, but only if the party of personal responsibility finally takes some. Hope springs eternal, except in this case. Hey, but we now have our own strong man! Cool! You do understand if he were elected somewhere else in the world you’d be the first to send your children to depose him, right? That’s called irony.