Flagstaff, AZ—The Tuesday before Super Tuesday is about to get even supererer as The Daily Discord is throwing a HUGE endorsement Hillary’s way. Many of my fellow contributors are clearly Berning, so this was a tough choice. My rants over the last decade are imbued with a common theme. I feel strongly that a Republican supermajority would be worse than when Kidz Bop opened for that Jonas Brothers cover band. Never again! My ultimate decision to support Hillary is twofold: 1. Hillary is one the most qualified candidates in recent memory and 2. most of her popularity problems are based on either the actions of her husband, or what we in the industry call “bullshit.” When it comes to complaints there’s very little there, there. Her main problem is her likeability. She’s a walking personality-void in a pantsuit. She makes John Kerry seem like the Most Interesting Man in the World. “I don’t always endorse candidates for president, but when I do, they where pant suits.”
Republicans feel very differently about our collective futures, but I’ve been patiently waiting for them to show some insight about something…anything. What prognostication prowess have they shown lately? Edgar Racey? Nostradumbass? Sorry it’s a prophet joke …one that I’m ironically not being paid for. I know picking a winner isn’t always my forte’. I was dead wrong about a certain American Idol comeback in 2007, but I still believe, Sanjaya! How the circus-acts on the right remain so popular remains the story within the story of our time.
“No matter what happens, the republic will survive. If you’re a Democrat, you can console yourself with the fact that it survived Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush, as much damage as they might have done; if you’re a Republican you can say the same about Bill Clinton and Barack Obama.”
—Paul Waldman
Waldman is a very bright guy and I tend to quote him more than anyone since Andrew Sullivan’s depature, but he is dead wrong on this one. This is the normalcy bias in action. My latest cogntive distortion run down, here. We’re still on thin ice, folks. When I predicted we would never fully recover from eight years of Bush…uh, but have fun scraping off those Jeb! bumper stickers. Heck, I’m still so anti-Bush I’m considering dating men.
Everyone else in this country seems to think the best days are ahead of us. I understand this sentiment coming from Colorado and Washington, but all fifty states? Sorry to burst your delusional bubble, but electing a President Dumbass would finish us off in a couple of years. That’s not histrionics, though I do admit I’m typing this while raking my arms with my Lee Press-Ons. It’s simple. You just can’t run the most important country on the planet with a delusional mindset. Much like the finale of The Sopranos, the ending will be swift and pathetic. Ouch! …I feel in control now.
Before I sing her praise, let me kvetch:
My reluctance to endorse Clinton involves her email-server issues, which is very different than any other Republican scandal in that there might something to it. Also, Hillary doesn’t match the nation’s current Zeitgeist. She embodies change in the same way Kanye West embodies humility. She is here at the wrong time and in the wrong pant suit.
Hillary was also wrong on Iraq. It bothers me when a spoof news blogger has more insight than an aspiring presidential hopeful (especially on such an important issue). I saw through Bush & Cheney’s bullshit in real time and she did not. The only thing I liked about candidate Trump was his opposition to the Iraq War, which of course, we find out wasn’t exactly true, here. Yes, a spoof news blogger over on Buzzfeed broke that story. In related news, Brian Williams recently approached me about becoming a Discord anchor and I’m like, “Uh, this spoof news, Brian …we have standards.”
Sure it was nice to see someone remind Republicans just how badly they screwed up on Iraq (during live debates no less), but Bernie and Barack saw through the right’s bullshit prior to the invasion. No one on their side of the aisle has that kind of insight, no one. If there are two choices they will alway ignore them both and create some third “nuclear” option. Atom Bum?
Our own Dr. Leigh has been a steadfast supporter of Hillary, so I asked her what that was all about:
“Bernie is an idealist and Hillary is a pragmatist. Hillary will be more effective in this political environment. She knows her policies and she’s winning the debates on substance. People just don’t like to give her any credit for it. Hillary has faced more challenges and has been beaten down more than any other candidate. She alone is battle-hardened and ready. She is the best choice for our nation. I don’t care what Zano thinks; I would argue she’s wearing her big girl pant suit.”
This is a monstrously huge election and in the end both Sanders and Clinton are strong candidates. I have been very critical on this blog of Hillary, but it doesn’t change the fact she was a well-liked Senator in New York and she kicked ass as Secretary of State. The thing that sets her apart is this: after the endless charade of Benghazi hearings and the near constant drone of GOP fishing expeditions, she continues to shine and, more than that, she continues to make her accusers look stupid. She has done this skillfully and with grace, year after year, despite more mudslinging than a Toyota Tacoma commercial. And Republicans hate to look stupid, which is why they should probably not speak anymore. I’m not taking away your First Amendment rights, I’m just suggesting you rely more heavily on the Fifth.
If you find the substantive differences between Clinton and Sanders to be enormous, it’s hard to see them as actually being bigger than the difference between them on one hand and the tsunami of change that will occur if a Republican is elected on the other. Which leaves Democratic voters with no choice but think hard about which candidate is more electable—even if there are no perfect answers to the question.
—Paul Waldman
Whereas I agree this is probably a year that you can safely throw out convential wisdom, I still believe Hillary is more electable. Maybe I’m wrong on this one. Let’s fact it, I am not very good at predicting such outcomes …I still believe, Sanjaya!
My darkest prognostication day, here. OK, fine, the real reason I’m backing Hillary is this: Just saying the words Madam President would cause a collective Republican aneurism. So collapse or no collapse, it would be damn fun to watch this play out on Hannity’s ‘Murica. As for Hillary’s cold response to our endorsement, this probably explains it:
