Secret Liberal Base—Al Gore laughed manically as he opened a giant valve located deep in his subterranean laboratory. Since losing his presidential bid in 2000, Gore has tried feverishly to prove global warming. In 2010 he attempted to cross dress, which he hoped might “heat things up a bit”, full story here.

Then in an effort to increase methane emissions he used his influence to improve the worldwide sale of beans. In 2011, however, Gore felt Operation: More Beans Mr. Tagert “stunk”, so he decided instead to melt all the North Pole’s ice with a giant hair dryer. This act had unintended consequences involving his placement on someone’s “naughty list”.

Now, in a chlorofluorocarbon (CFCs) factory somewhere deep under the Earth, Gore is pumping out endless waves of ozone depleting goodness into the stratosphere.

Researcher Johannes Laube said, “We don’t know where the new gases are emanating from but, if Mr. Gore is responsible, his secret base’s location is of the utmost importance to mankind! Along with my student loan debt, which remains very high.”

Real warming story here.