Hollywood, CA—The premise of the Naked and Verklempt series strands two naked Hasidic Jews on a deserted island each week to test their survival prowess. Sadly, a Discovery Channel spokesman announced today that both contestants from episode one had died within 48-hours. The producer of the show, Matt Narrows, said, “We’re really sorry about the deaths, but really happy they signed those waivers. We are not looking at this as a failure, because it was a damn entertaining 48-hours for all involved…uh, the deceased and their families excluded.”

Within minutes of being dropped off on an island, the woman became entangled in a tree while trying to reach some coconuts. The man could not touch the woman due to strict Hasidic law, so he tried to push her out of the tree with a stick. It was hysterical! They were attracted to each other, but, again, religious laws forced them to make a barrier through which to shtup. They spent most of their first day trying to make a ‘sheet’ out of palm fronds. It was hilarious! When they finished this project a miscue foiled the entire encounter. You should see what the guy ended up unknowingly having sex with! You’re just going to have to watch the episode! I’ll say this much, it wasn’t Kosher.

The second day was an unfortunate chain of events. The pair used the only drinking water on the island for their ritual bath, or mikvah, and then spent the day catching every forbidden food on the beach, which they actually cooked up and fed the camera crew. They planned to fish for some nice gefilte fish and use that as bait to catch a snipe. They knew little about snipe except they were definitely not on the forbidden meats list. When they finally schlepped into the jungle, gefilte-fishless, they couldn’t eat any of the bugs but the bugs had no problem devouring them. The third day fell on the Sabbat so there was nothing on the agenda left to do, except die, which they did almost immediately. OMG! It was hilarious!