The Daily Discord’s Top 10 Survival Guide

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  1. Continue to procreate, you may need to eat your young
  2. Watch Survivor Man and remember which bugs are edible
  3. Start planting food now, like lasagna trees (are Hot Pockets annual or perennial?)
  4. Increase offspring’s chances for survival by naming them Mad Max, John Connor, or Roland of Gilead
  5. Bang rocks together (this won’t help, but it may drive away your annoying neighbors)
  6. Remember, all you need is love (and canned goods)
  7. Rent every Gilligan’s Island episode from Netflix and take notes
  8. Stockpile your cash (it may come in handy as kindling)
  9. Learn how to make his and hers loincloths from soup labels
  10. Read Raping and Pillaging for Dummies (important: do not implement before police force is disbanded)
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Mick Zano

Mick Zano

Mick Zano is the Head Comedy Writer and co-founder of The Daily Discord. He is the Captain of team Search Truth Quest and is currently part of the Witness Protection Program. He is being strongly advised to stop talking any further about this, right now, and would like to add that he is in no way affiliated with the Gambinonali crime family.