Port of Los Angeles—Why not take advantage of some killer discounts being offered, right now, through Discord Travel? Take a cruise from L.A. to China and head up the Yangtze River to Wuhan, and maybe back! If that’s not enough to quarint—I mean, entice you, on the return trip you get an extended stay just off the coast of California absolutely free! You have the best excuse to miss work and just hangout on board, while some of our other guests wait for connecting flights to the afterlife and beyond. Why not take someone in your inner circle who’s really getting on your nerves lately? What about aunt whats’r name? She’s a bitch and she’s over 60, aka the best people to bring on this stricken voyage of opportunity!

If you survive our Wuhan adventure, you’re eligible for our Discord XL series! This spring we’re hitting all the hot spots, specifically the post-Fukushima radioactive hot spots in and around the Sea of Japan. Gozilla watching tours are also available. Not for the squeamish. And why not join us for our upcoming excursion to the caves of Centralia, Pennsylvania? It’s like an underground BBQ all day, every day (BYOGM, bring your own gas mask). We also have trips to the great Sargasso Sea garbage patch. Unlimited souvenirs are just floating around out there! These are limited offers …very limited, so you know our slogan:

If you’re ready to meet your maker, and you’re done with whats’r face, just pack and take her!

In related Discord travel agency news, our Smothered in Chum Snorkeling Adventures is set to Close its Doors after 7th Fatality.