Los Angeles, CA – Earlier today UCLA Hospital released this disturbing autopsy photo. Information is now surfacing about the cause of Michael Jackson’s death. The pop star suffered from two herniated snarkles and several ruptured K2-nibblets. According to inside sources, Farfalownus of the blow hole has not been ruled out at this time. Seventeen contraindicated medications were found in Jackson’s system, including Valium, Xanax, Demerol, Vicodin, and Big Jug Extra malt liquor. Although the amount of depressant-type medication discovered could easily prove fatal for humans, it was well within safe and legal limits for the inhabitants of Rigel Seven. The Ambassador to Rigel Seven was unavailable for comment. UCLA Hospital does not want to speculate any further about the cause of death at this time, but inside sources for the Daily Discord believe the cause of death may have been moon-walk-related (MWR).
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