Los Angeles, CA — Jesus, Osiris, and Krishna all have their own resurrection myths associated with them.  Heck even Dionysus came back from the dead, but in all fairness he just might have had a three day hangover.  Michael Jackson, not to be out done, has thrown his own crown of thorns into the ring, so to speak.  It is believed Jackson rose from the dead on June 28^th to some stunningly choreographed dance numbers.  Critics report most were borrowed from Thriller.  Jackson’s doctor reports the zombie-pop-star (ZPS) finished his set, demanded his glove, his plastic surgeon, and a bucket of Demerol.

Jackson went on to say, “This should qualify me for my own religion, and where is my Demerol?!”

Jackson then devoured several of the hospital staff’s brains before signing a few autographs for some lucky fans—then he devoured their brains as well.