Flagstaff, AZ – The Lowell Observatory has discovered an impressive binary, D-cup, star system just thirty miles south of their Mars Hill location.  Business is booming since the observatory shifted her historic Clark telescope toward the sun bathing escapades of one Kristy Felldorfer of Sedona, AZ.

Professor Nicholas Steiger had this to say about the new events calendar:  “She usually flips on the hour, so her twin binary system is viewable at 1:00, 3:00, and 5:00 PM.”

This attraction is highlighted by a dual aureole effect, tantalizingly cresting at the poles.  On alternating hours, 12:00, 2:00, and 4:00 PM, the full moon appears over the southern horizon to the roar of some horny astronomy enthusiasts. 

Professor Steiger admits to playing more with his Polaris since the recent change in venue, but as Steiger put it, “Take my wife, Pleiades.”

Steiger then laughed at his own joke to the point of choking. 

One of the Observatory’s second year interns, Duane Rufus, had this to say: “Finally, a heavenly body worth tracking.”

Rufus is considering the implications of an even closer encounter with Ms. Feldorfer and is planning an away mission this fall.  The Observatory hopes to boost gift shop sales with color photo spreads of what astronomers have come to call the Kristy Felldorfer Experience.  Is this just the beginning for the Fantastic Voyeurs?  Professor Steiger’s latest empirical article Turn that Hubble, Putz, onto those Bubble Butts has met with mixed reviews.