Dear Ghetto Shaman,

Are you available for speaking engagements? I am hosting an all-female adult movie star convention in Las Vegas in a few weeks and was wondering if you may be available.

Thanks!

Laurel Canyon

Dear Laurel,

Is this a trick question?  Actually, I’m a busy man.  I certainly can’t go to every all-female porn convention that I’m invited to…

The Ghetto Shaman

P.S.  Send the details!  Can I bring Zano, Atsals, and Bald Tony?  They’re usually well behaved at such events.  That didn’t sound convincing, did it?