Dear Ghetto Shaman,
How come you never mention meditation?  I am beginning to question your wisdom.

L.L.

Draper, UT

Dear L.L.,

Only beginning to question?  You should read my book Meditation Overdose: Driving Under the Zenfluence.  Here is an excerpt:

“To meditate, grab your penis with your right hand if you are right handed, or your left hand if you are left handed, and then pull repeatedly. It helps to hone your visualization skills during this process.  I like to envision monkeys throwing feces at one another, which I am told is decidedly Freudian.  Some say that you’ll need glasses if you meditate too much, but don’t worry, this is a complete misboner. ”

The Shucking Bubba Shaman