South Park, CO—Today Spectr-phil-A Records proudly announced the venue for their 8th annual Fakeapalooza. The popular fictional music-jest will be held in South Park, Colorado this year and the event is scheduled to last a full a eleven days, “because our music festivals go to eleven!” Many of the best names in fictional rock are already booked, such as Spinal Tap, The Rutles, Eddie and The Cruisers, Josie & The Pussycats, Sex Bob-om, The Soggy Bottom boys, The Hong Kong Cavaliers (minus Buckaroo Bazai), Dr. Teeth & The Electric Mayhem (minus Animal, who’s in rehab), the non-surviving members of the Monkees and parts of Gene Simmons. There’s even rumors The Discord’s own Armpit Salesmen will be making an appearance! The Salesmen, a self-described Spinal Tap cover band, features Cokie McGrath (whichever one is available) on lead vocals, Tony Benjamin-Franklin Ballz on lead guitar, Alex Already-His-Alias Bone on drums, Les Moore, more or less on keyboards, and even Mick Zano will be there, jamming out on the triangle, tambourine and/or cowbell. Tickets are $85 through Ticketgon or completely free at the door #BYOLGBTQ. Don’t void where prohibited as you could be arrested.

Spoiler alert: Sex Bob-om is planning to perform a 47-minute loop version of their punk-Pilgrim classic, Garbage Truck, and the band Josie & The Pussycats has resolved to play a three and a half hour version of their theme song, with some talk box coaching from Peter Frampton. Sadly, Eddie & The Cruisers are being forced to just wave to everyone and then get off stage as they are currently being sued by Gary Larson for an attempted sequel to their one-hit-wonder entitled On The Far Side. Some good news, though, the Armpit Salesmen are down for playing all of their greatest pits or until they are asked to leave. Did I mention I’m on cowbell?!

Even the Blues Brothers themselves may attend this event, but thus far they’ve fallen short of a full commitment because they’re afraid, “They’ll never get Matt or Mr. Fabulous out of them high payin’ gigs.”