Philadelphia, PA—The Discord’s Ghetto Shaman met with CEO, Pierce Winslow, to discuss plans for his Rally to Retrieve the U.S. Soul.  On October 30th, at the National Mall, the Shaman is planning to ingest enough ground nutmeg and Banana Red Mad Dog 20/20 to “down a rhino.”  He then intends to depart this dimensional plane of existence for a darker realm, possibly Newark, in hopes of finding an ever-important shard of our country’s soul.  Upon his return, he will restore our nation’s greatness and claim some fair bystander as his rightful queen (in no particularly order).  He then plans to do things he would rather not talk about with ‘said’ queen. 

Pierce Winslow is in full support of the event, “This is going to be huge!  We’re talking ‘my balls’ huge! If anyone wants to be bused to The National Mall on October 30th, simply meet us at the Liberty Bell Pavilion in Philly.”  

The Discord’s CEO suggests hitting the site’s contact button for more details. Insiders claim Winslow has already rented a mid-sized sedan, possibly an Impala, from Avis rent-a-car for the big day.

“That’s just the beginning.  I am prepared to upgrade to a full-size sedan if demand warrants,” said Winslow.  “Avis has some good deals right now, especially for AAA members.”