Palm Beach, FL—President Donald Trump has responded to recent criticism of his less than stellar performance at last week’s G-7 summit by announcing plans to hold his own “much better G-7”. The event will take place at his Palm Beach resort at Mar-a-Lago on September 11th. The president has already extended invitations to six other hand-picked individuals, who are ready to share America’s new goals, values, and the best chocolate cake in the world!

A White House staffer has already leaked the fact the invitation to Admiral General Aladeen came back from Kazakhstan marked: Return to Sacha. There is also rumblings that Dr. Evil is furious with the proposed date of the summit. “I have already booked my frickin’ League of Extraordinarily Evil Gentlemen conference there in September. Herr Trump and his handlers need to improve their communication skills, or they’re going to make every super villain on earth look like a bunch of frickin’ morons!”

A member of the press also pointed out the actor who played Mini-Me, Verne Troyer, recently died. There is concern that even if a suitable substitute can be found for September’s summit, it would still be considered a G-6.5 at best.