Dear Ghetto Shaman,

After nearly 30 years, of living a clean and sober life, I’m contemplating getting back into weed. With the failure of the economy, losing my home and my family, it sounds like a good thing to do, as I am allergic to alcohol. However, back in the 70s, Thai Stik is what I used to do. Is that still available, and at what price? If not, what would be a good replacement?

Looosah

Michigan

Dear Loosah,

Thai Stik? Thai Stik is only about three bucks and is available anywhere, even convenient stores. It’s very good at removing stains. I believe I’ve used that joke before. Look, Loosah, you should get a second opinion on the alcohol. Allergic? Try rice beer. There’s also gluten free beer, so you can enjoy a taste on par with Schlitz for only ten dollars a pint. Oh, and with hydroponics you will find pot much more potent than the old days, depending on your source, of course. But before you do anything to jeopardize 30 years of sobriety, call your sponsor—as long as your sponsor isn’t Budweiser. 

The Ghetto Shaman