Our headline “Go Ahead: Take a Potshot at Obama’s Face, Kooks!” should have read “Go Ahead: Take a Photo-op with Obama on Facebook”.

“Flogging the Bad Parts to Stimulate Package” should have read “Flagging the Bad Parts of the Stimulus Package”.

“Norse God Destroys Navy!” headline should have read “Morse Code Deciphering Baby!”

Finally, there is some lingering doubts regarding the legitimacy of the source behind our headline “God Admits to Fucking with Indonesia ‘Just Because'”.

Sorry for the wide spread panic and duress these headlines have caused the greater public. The Discord’s CEO, Pierce Winslow, takes full responsibility for the mistakes, or as he put it, “The fuck stops beer.” Mr. Winslow would like to also apologize for the last typo, as well, and incests, “It will never crap in my den”. Mr. Winslow is going to stop commie-venting now for both your own pro-sex-binge and gizz.