Jeb Bush Refuses To Appear As Cowardly Lying In Discord Oz Toon

by Mr. Sherman • August 27, 2015

by Mr. Sherman • August 26, 2015

by Mick Zano • August 25, 2015

The Discord is falling a bit short of endorsing Hillary Clinton. Truth be told I am not Ready For Hillary, nor am I convinced Bernie Sanders can win the general election. So here I sit in no-candidate land, Biden my time. Voting for Hillary seems a tad masochistic to me, thus the Death Star imagery. Sure it’s entertaining to watch The GOP implode, but 2016 is by no means a gimme for the Dems, nor is a Hillary Administration necessarily the best thing for America. The republican base is small but rabid, so approach Trump’s comb-over hair-weave thing with caution. As we approach this election cycle, Dems also beware as the S.S. Hillary is listing to port:

“This incessant republican witch hunt, coupled with a personality that makes John Kerry seem like that Dos Equis guy, could be a death knell for the Clinton candidacy.”

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by Mick Zano • August 24, 2015

New York, NY—Bipartisanship is currently rampant on Capitol Hill. The 114th Congress is starting to coalesce around some key Donald-related-issues. Republicans are motivated to derail the Trump candidacy and Democrats just want to put an end to the incessant Trump-induced nausea (ITIN). John Cornyn, R-Texas, said, “If we all work together, not only could we kill this abomination of a campaign, but we could end the queasiness associated with Trump’s voice. Look, this job is sickening enough without the gorge-rising antics of The Trumpster. I only want to vomit the way Lord Reagan envisioned, after stripping government funding from those most in need.”

Diverting flame retardant from California onto The Donald’s face is not without its critics. “I want Trump to shut the F-up as much as the next guy,” said Congressman Adam Schiff, D-CA, “but that retardant could have saved homes in the town of Weed, CA, or even saved weed in the town of Homes, CA.”

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by Mick Zano • August 23, 2015

by Mick Zano • August 22, 2015

mormon2 Salt Lake City, UT—Since the Boy Scouts of America’s decision to allow openly gay children into their fold, the Mormon Church threatened to outright sever relations. After lengthy negotiations rivaling the State Department’s Iran deal, the two organizations have reached an agreement. Mormons are allowed to enrich uranium for peaceful purposes, provided they allow the international community to inspect their magic underwear. Wait, what?

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by Sean Null • August 20, 2015

As the number of craft breweries in the U.S. climbs to 3,500, psychologists are taking note of a developing phenomenon. Studies suggest craft beer drinkers are having less sex. Mick Zano may hold to his man-boob phytoestrogen theory, here, but I think there’s something else lingering in the air.

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by Mr. Sherman • August 19, 2015

by Mick Zano • August 17, 2015

And he is one of the smarter republicans …think about that

by Mick Zano • August 16, 2015

Batshit Rouge, LA—Governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal, is still not happy about missing the not-ready-for-prime-time republican debacle—er, debate. Fox News chose only the top ten contenders for this event, via their own questionable polling system. This left “Bobby” Jindal an outcast, wandering the country aimlessly.

At a press conference today Jindal held up a Spinal Tap T-shirt that read Our Debaters Should Go To Eleven. “I am going to war with the RNC!” said Jindal. “I will attack them with this large knife, with the back edge all serrated like. What do they call those? Anyway, you think Trump is terrorizing this circus, wait until they get a load of me.” He then started manically laughing and yelling, “Bring me The Batman. Bring me The Donald, hah, hah, hah!”

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by Mick Zano • August 15, 2015

by Mick Zano • August 13, 2015

I read your response to Jon Stewart’s departure this week in Slate and it’s telling…it’s telling me move to Canada! It’s another Clue it was Roger Ailes in the Liebrary with the candle schtick. It shouldn’t be news to anyone that you’re the real the culprit here. Speaking of news, you should try some, instead of whatever the hell you’re doing over on Fox. You said Jon Stewart didn’t make a “dent” in your kingdom, but what about your ultimate goal? You desperately want another likeminded sociopath in the White House, or at least some other Rube-io to push your twisted agenda. This is where Stewart and Co. have robbed you of something. You already know this, don’t you?

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by Mick Zano • August 12, 2015

by Mick Zano • August 10, 2015

Washington, DC—Donald Trump is getting a bump in the polls today after he shoved a baby carriage down a stairwell. The incident left one woman angry and one toddler in cynical condition. Shortly after his presidential debate, Trump, allegedly told a woman she looked like something from a horror movie and then pushed her stroller over a precipice. According to witnesses, The Donald yelled, “Remember the Untouchables?! This is like a reenactment. Get it, you skank?!”

Trump remains unapologetic about the incident and is not backing down from his comments. “I meant what I said. I loved the movie The Untouchables and that woman was kind of a skank. It’s not sexists if it’s true.”

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by Mick Zano • August 9, 2015

by Mr. Sherman • August 6, 2015

The first Republican debates will be held later today in Cleveland. Yes, you heard right, home of the Drew Carey Show and the Cleveland Browndians. Sorry I don’t follow sports, especially in Ohio. The debate will be hosted by Fox News and only the top ten polling candidates are invited to play. I plan to break each winner into a separate feature, but first let’s look at all of these folks and the rhetoric that makes them great…for a comedy site. Some fear that no meaningful discourse can result from having ten people on a debate stage, which is a ridiculous view. It’s a republican debate, people! …when has there ever been any meaningful discourse?

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by Mr. Sherman • August 6, 2015

by Mick Zano • August 5, 2015

Grafting together a hodgepodge of red tissue and dead issues, the rightwing media has spent the better part of the 21^st century galvanizing an angry zombie army of the politically clueless. This faction has a new leader, but the monster of their own creation has officially lurched off the table, broken down the castle door, and is apparently golfing in Scotland. People of Scotland: please monitor all little girls sitting near ponds or wells. At the moment, there’s only one person who controls the republican bubble and it’s alive…It’s ALIVE!!!!!