Who To Root For? It’s Kind Of Like Choosing Between ISIS & Assad

by Mr. Sherman • October 30, 2015

by Mr. Sherman • October 29, 2015

by Mick Zano • October 27, 2015

Maybe this is the one those Heaven’s Gate Hale-Bopp folks were waiting for?

by Mick Zano • October 26, 2015

We’ve perseverated on this Libyan tragedy for so long that today, I would like to shift gears and celebrate Benghazi. Not the dead people part, but the ramifications. Your dogged fixation on this unfortunate event has created some wonderful fodder over the years and, like it or not, it’s only acted to solidify Madame President’s chances. This has always been a bitch hunt, but one you were destined to lose. Hillary’s a little more Mentalist to your mental. The GOP is so lost in their own delusions, I knew they would mess this up. Hillary has not only “lost more sleep” on this issue than the lot of you, she’s smarter than the lot of you. She’s a Sherlock to your Inspector Clouseau. The Pink Pantsuit? Now, thanks to this latest farce, Hillary is on a roll and I’m afraid The GOP is pretty much toast.

READ MORE ->

by Mr. Sherman • October 25, 2015

What movie? What movie? It’s The Discord Bonus question of the week.

by Mr. Sherman • October 24, 2015

by Alex Bone • October 23, 2015

How punk are you? Would you really like to know? With this handy quiz, now you can! Amaze your friends, or disgust them outright. Get kicked out of pubs, or finally get invited back into them! Just hit the read more button, answer the ten questions, and you too could be the next punk rock star, destined to couch surf your way to unemployment.

READ MORE ->

by Mick Zano • October 22, 2015

…which is odd because they’ve been at it for a long time.

by Mick Zano • October 21, 2015

Sometimes we have slow news days here at The Discord.

by Mick Zano • October 19, 2015

I think Trump is saying his immigration policies could have prevented Benghazi. Sometimes it’s tough to interpret stupideze. Retraction: it’s always tough interpreting stupideze. Republican leadership is warning The Donald that he better start sticking to the script, after all, republicans only have one script (Flesch-Kincaid grade level 3).

READ MORE ->

by Mick Zano • October 18, 2015

When George W. Bush guessed history would compare him to Truman, I knew he was smoking crack. Kidding, he would have ‘presidented’ much better on crack. While he was banking on the whole eventually-history-will-dig-me premise, I knew he would ultimately be compared to Kim Kardashian (at least gluteuphorically). I believe that’s a Palin-drome. Meanwhile, Obama clearly has a fighting chance at the Truman Show. Granted, most of his cards are resting in the Iran nuke-basket—a basket that could mushroom at any moment. Khrushchev at ground zero? Sorry, it’s a Weird Al joke.

READ MORE ->

by Mr. Sherman • October 17, 2015

In related news: Daily Discord to sue Director Robert Zemeckis

by Mick Zano • October 14, 2015

Just be thankful we didn’t go with the runner up.

by Mick Zano • October 13, 2015

Yeah, spelling is going to be even a little more of a problem than usual, but c’est la vie. I admit I have no interest in the Dem debate. There, I said it. I was like, crap. I have to watch this shit? You see Tuesday is the new Wednesday in Flagstaff. Don’t read too deeply into that. No one knows what that means either. Then Cokie suggested I live blog the debate from Historic Brewing. I said, Trump is going to live Tweet stuff! Trump and Tweets and bars, oh my?! Let’s do this shit! You pour the suds and I’ll dip my quill in some poison. Hey, maybe you can put Poison on Pandora and we can make it a theme night! She drew the line at 80s hair bands and told me I had to leave by 9… a whole hour later than usual! What a pal. I googled c’est la vie for spelling but from here on in, it’s booze, trump and no editing. Say le veee! Let The Donald begin.

READ MORE ->

by Mr. Sherman • October 12, 2015

by Mick Zano • October 10, 2015

Burlington, VT—Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) told The Discord today he supports both medical marijuana and the decriminalization of cannabis. Senator Sanders is also open to the recreational use of marijuana for the strict purpose of increasing the creativity of a certain group of spoof news bloggers, “who really seem to suck without it.”

Sanders told reporters, “I have read The Discord’s material with and without marijuana and there’s only one way to enjoy their quirky brand of political humor. I have carefully studied the research on cannabinoid creativity enhancers (CCEs) and (cough) without legalization these guys are going tits up. To be blunt about blunts, they need to smoke more pot and so do their readers.”

READ MORE ->

by Mick Zano • October 9, 2015

Washington, DC—Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) dropped a bombshell earlier this week and all but admitted the Benghazi investigations were a political ruse, designed to hurt Hillary Clinton politically. Since then many questions about these committees are surfacing. What were republicans really doing behind closed doors during all those meetings with all that Kleenex and lotion? If it was a circle jerk on the taxpayers dime, as many believe, doesn’t that fly in the face of conservative values?

“Nothing flew in anyone’s face,” insisted Senator John Q. Republican, “That would be gross. Look, we may not be very good at reaching across the aisle, but under no circumstances do we do the ‘reach around’. We are all well respected members of Congress so we have people for that.”

READ MORE ->

by Mr. Sherman • October 6, 2015

READ MORE ->

by Mick Zano • October 5, 2015

It’s not this scandal that’s pissing me off, it’s the coverage of this scandal. Sorry, there’s no such thing as egregious price-gouging in the pharmaceutical industry. Have you Googled the pharmaceutical industry? …you know, since The Google was invented? Have you purchased a newer non-generic medication lately? Ask your doctor if a reverse mortgage for aspirin is right for you. What’s a 5,000% markup between friends, eh? Do the math, people. Seriously, I can’t. I have a liberal arts degree. When people say the words predatory-capitalism, I believe one of those words is superfluous.

READ MORE ->