Tweet Tower—A new deal between the Trump Organization, Big Pharma, Signa, and the Grim Reaper actually hastens the life-process for individuals associated with high medical costs. This new plan is designed to benefit the healthcare providers, while at the same time helping ordinary people, like you, pass into the underworld more easily. The collaborative effort is designed to cut costs, cut life support, and finish off Obamacare by the midterm elections. The details of the deal remain shrouded—in a black cowl, actually—but the president promises it’s a big win for healthy young people, who should probably stay inside from now on …where it’s safe.

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Tweet Tower—Earlier today the president of ABC, Channing Dungey, announced the cancellation of their top-rated sitcom Roseanne after a racist tweet surfaced on Roseanne Barr’s personal Twitter feed. Mrs. Dungey called the comments, “Abhorrent, repugnant and inconsistent with our values.” President Trump quickly came to Roseanne’s defense and is considering a full pardon at this time for the tweet and any related damages.

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Big Island, HI—The proposed location for President Trump’s on-again, off-again summit with North Korea is both raising eyebrows and singeing them. The president announced the two leaders will meet in June on Hawaii’s Big Island, preferably “right near some of the active lava flows.” Is the president trying to tie in his earlier “fire and fury” comments, or is he still investigating Barack Obama’s birthplace? It’s hard to say, especially when your president can barely speak.

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Tweet Tower—In a move many are calling predictable, President Donald Trump has ordered his Department of Defense to drop the one million newly minted NK/USA June summit commemorative coins over the most populated areas of North Korea. This news comes today shortly after negotiations regarding the tentative Singapore summit between the two nations officially broke down. If this were not childish enough, the U.S. military has been instructed to make farting sounds as they fly over the North Korean peninsula. Donald Trump has also ordered his Justice Department to fully investigate the Nobel Peace Prize Committee, because he “still wants one.” When the president was told the Nobel Committee is housed in Norway, the Trump Administration immediately placed stiff sanctions on the country and imposed crushing tariffs on all Scandinavian imports.

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Tweet Tower—Sometimes it pays to read one’s own fine print. President Trump is working feverishly to salvage the upcoming summit between himself and the Supreme Commander of North Korea, Kim Jong Un. Today the plot has officially thickened. Due to a provision of his own travel ban, the president can not fly to the tentative location of the summit in Singapore. Primarily the travel ban prohibits anyone from flying into the U.S. from seven specific Muslim countries. On the last page of the document, however, the president went on a bit of an unscripted rant. He added what he called a Trumpmendment which also prohibits the following groups from flying at all: socialists, kids named after places (like Dakota or Cheyenne), and anyone the DOJ or the DHS considers an ass-clown. Today, the Department of Homeland Security has confirmed that the president is a world class ass-clown and needs to stick to the lower-48 until the people over at Ringling Brothers can release their final report.

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FBI Headquarters—In honor of the Russia investigation turning one year old this week, Donald Trump sent the Special Counsel a birthday cake. The cake arrived at FBI headquarters Attention: Robert Mueller with a short handwritten note from the president. Fine, it was a tweet someone transcribed. The event confused the House Intelligence chairman, Devin Nunes, who doesn’t know which leak is up. He immediately called the move an “obstruction of frosting,” before leaking the recipe back to the Feds. A Trump tweet shortly followed from the president: “Hey, Nunes, wait for my lead! #Numbnuts.”

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Tweet Tower—A new study from Trump University’s Center for Covering Up Public Affairs is showing a steep decline in fertility rates after the above nude image of the president surfaced on PinInstatweet. The inventor of the world wide web, Al Gore, said, “The release of this picture onto my precious inter-web actually broke the main pixilator, you know, the fuzzy spot generator thingie that hides all the naughty bits. So now all uploaded images will just show naked people until we can resolve this issue.”

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In my blogvesary’s last article he offered timelines, fingerprints, tire tracks, 27 8×10 color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one, and DNA evidence to add to his mounting evidence that the FBI worked with the Clintons to create an ‘insurance policy’ to dethrone Trump, should ‘Murica ever be reckless enough to elect the ass-clown. Based on mounting evidence, this important ezine has sided with the Russia/collusion narrative and the work of the special counsel. Mr. McDooris’ last post posed only one key question: what was the specific evidence that triggered these dueling narratives? Admittedly, I spaced it …again. Shock Poll: No One Shocked By This. Fine, it was the result of a spontaneous protest triggered by a hateful anti-Muslim video that… oh, sorry, miles away. 

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This is in response to Zano’s last political brain fart. When I speak of “objective facts” it is in the context of how a narrative is developed. Coincidently, the purpose of my argument is not to necessarily establish the truth or falseness of a particular narrative, but to establish the “where, why, and how” the narrative was created. Some narratives are built upon the accumulation of facts, while other narratives are first created (independent of fact) and then facts are sought to support the already accepted narrative. I believe the main media covered scandal: Trump conspired with the Russians to steal the 2016 election is an attempt to support an accepted narrative. Meanwhile, Officials in the FBI and DOJ used their positions to shield Hillary Clinton from indictment is a scandal based on objective facts. After the election these same officials used their positions to delegitimize the Trump presidency.

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