I record Fareed Zakaria GPS every Sunday morning on CNN religiously.  Well, I don’t complete the mechanics involved personally; I have people for that.  OK, my 11 year old does it, but she is gradually teaching me how to use my DVR.  Granted, last week’s lesson went poorly, but she did teach me the proper acronym, DVR (apparently, it’s not a VCR or a DVD, it’s some type of alien hybrid). 

This week Zakaria cemented my opinion of him.  He is an integralist.  He’s smart, savvy, and can see all perspectives with a stunning clarity (aka, he has no business being on cable television).  He is a second tier thinker, which of course will inflame the sensibilities of the senseless (aka, the Sean Hannitys of the world).  I don’t know if Fareed reads Ken Wilber, or even buys into my Spiral Dynamics perspective, regardless, I have a new journalistic BFF.  

Zarkaria enraged everyone recently with an article in Newsweek, wherein he spelled out what was done right and what was done wrong on the War on Terror.  He was able to succinctly list what Bush nailed and where Bush failed (aka, he pissed off everyone,  man after my own blog).

This week he started his show (GPS) by saying, “We are so polarized we cannot even have a rational discussion on anything anymore.”

Bingo! Welcome to my virtual world.  It’s easy to find an argument between fundamentalism (blue), entrepreneurial/scientific (orange), and liberalism (green).  But if you want to see an integralist (turquoise) referee this three ring circus, check out Fareed.

During his show, it becomes easy to identify these various perspectives and see precisely when these various perspectives slip off the cliffs of insanity.  Last week, he orchestrated a debate between four individuals on the War on Terror, but only Zakaria made any sense whatsoever. 

The Weekly Standard guy (the neocon) could not see where the psychology of fear is working against U.S. interests, or how in many ways we overreacted after 9/11.  Uh, invading the wrong country, destroying the Bill of Ri…never mind.  It’s not going to sink in anyway. Fear and anxiety stokes Fox and Friends.  They will never get off fear or fossil fuels (the three Fs); it’s their life’s blood. Anyway, the guy mumbled something about how our response to 9/11 was, indeed, proportionate and he couldn’t really think of an example where we might have overdone it.  Wow.  And here I thought Republicans were against rampant marijuana use.  I need to party more at The Weekly Standard.  Hydroponics, baby!

Next up, Fareed’s liberal guest proceeded to say the threat from Al-Qaeda and terrorism is “virtually non-existent.” The guy really said that. In an age when Iran is about to have nukes? In an age when one suitcase in Times Square and it’s goodbye Big Apple, hello charred core?  Non-existent?  Really?  Do you know how hard it is to sound dumber than a neocon?  You just managed. 

Now, if you listened to Zakaria’s account of the pros and cons of the War on Terror, it was dead on.  He accurately listed where we did well and where we erred.  After praising Bush for a few items, he discussed where we clearly overreacted to 9/11 and listed those consequences.

This prompted Sean Hannity over on Fox to respond thusly, “How does someone that dumb get a show?” 

Yes, arguably the least insightful TV host just razzed someone arguably the most insightful.  Isn’t it Alanis, don’t you think?

When I say most of America can be wrong on certain issues, more accurately, they only see part of the issue—the part that resonates with their ideology/level/meme (whatever you want to call it, but Spiral Dynamics color codes it for your enjoyment).  Each of these levels has an inherent blind spot the size of our deficit.  80% live in these extreme lands.  Most seem quite happy there.  It’s a medicated happy, but happy nevertheless.

My own blog-versary, The Crank, believes most people are actually in the center of most issues.  I don’t.  Conversations in my personal life either follow the MSNBC/liberal track, or the Fox/neocon track.  Everyone is, for the most part, following these two playbooks way too closely.  Objective thinkers are becoming increasingly rare.  Even most Discord contributors are following one playbook or another.  Our own constitutional scholar here at the Discord, Rick Pernick, will not mention the six to five ruling last week over at the 9^th Circuit Court of Appeals, which deems all of Bush’s crimes “state secrets” not subject to investigation.  

Why isn’t this news for the founding father/Constitutionalists out there?  Pernick seems to have an endless supply of well-researched and well-cited posts (at least on any given Fox-approved-topic).  This decision last week solidified executive power more than any other court decision in modern history.  Hey, let’s start a Tea Party!  The Star Chamber power the executive branch now wields in this country is virtually untouchable.  Today, we live in a very different country.  Let’s call it a banana republic. Meanwhile, Mr. Pernick and the Cranks of the world keep championing only those issues important to the five rich guys in our nation.  The same five guys who plan to become even richer on our own country’s shortsightedness. 

Here’s why I pick on our friends over at the Tea Party rally.  For an equation only a Foxeteer could love (or understand), try this one on for size:

Fox News 2008: Ron Paul is an idiot

The Tea Party 2009: Ron Paul is a God

Fox News and the Tea Party 2010: If only people had listened to us about Ron Paul back in 08’

Only Glenn Beck, a chalkboard, and a pitcher of mojitos can make sense of that one.  You know who said Ron Paul actually had some good points in 08’?  A soon to be Tea Party keynote speaker, perhaps?  Some Crank somewhere?  No….MICK ZANO!  That’s who.  I’m starting my own Tea Party of one, and none of you are invited!  And, yeah Mrs. O’Donnell, you better keep the door shut, I’ll be masturbating.

Still not convinced both sides are off the mark?  On one hand, Republicans want all the services, all the tax cuts, and a reduced deficit.  Yes, they’re our special politicians.  Meanwhile, they are the best at growing governments, deficits, and tyranny.  And they do it to the cheers of their bat shit base, who supposedly stand for the exact opposite (figure that one out).  On the other hand, liberals can’t see where borrowing trillions and creating tiers of senseless government bureaucracies can be counterproductive to our fiscal futures.

But here’s the depressing thing, 80% of you read and comprehended only one of those last two points.  How many people really understand why both parties are wrong for America?  You might say 20%.  If so, you would be wrong.  The last 20% are probably doing something they’re afraid, if elected, Christine O’Donnell will soon make illegal. 

Drop the Kleenex.  And get off the babysitter! 

I think if our leaders don’t embrace integral thought soon, it’s all over.  And I’m afraid Obama has proven to be more of a liberal than an integralist, but not for the reasons espoused daily over on Fox News (hint: that’s mostly bullshit).  Here’s the problem.  He has his moments, but Obama is far too pluralistic most days to stand up for what’s right.  The mosque debate is just the latest example. It’s OK to be the only adult in the room.  Really Mr. President, it’s OK.  Pluralism has its place, if used as directed, but if abused…

Where I often say nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong, a liberal pluralist would say everybody’s right and nobody’s wrong.  That’s wonderful.  It’s all about not hurting anyone’s feelings. Sure…you can all give yourselves trophies—trophies made of sticks and mud when this place becomes the next Bangla-fucking-desh.

Depressing, isn’t it. Luckily, we have someone like Fareed on the scene now.  He’s going to move folks in the right direction.  Zakaria’s thoughtfulness and style may resonate with more and more people in the same way that my posts don’t—but, hey, read my stuff anyway.  It keeps me off the streets, which is a good thing.  Mr. Z is going to need our support over on CNN.  Making sense out there these days will create a tremendous backlash from the talking heads, left and right.  Hang in there, pal.  Be the rider on the storm, the Lizard King, and whatever other Doors reference floats your boat.  Watch him America, watch him and learn.  Like any good medicine, it might taste bad going down, but a bunch of it and you can catch a good buzz!   Now if you’ll excuse me, just one more time before it’s illegal.

Zakaria and Zano 2012.  Just to egg on those Mayan Gods.

The recovery summer, the love child of Barack Obama and Joseph Biden, has gone to the big government program in the sky.  Little Stimuleena was only three months old.  There will be no open casket for this one, folks.  You could lose your lunch.  Oh wait, you can’t afford lunch anymore.  Nevermind.

A proud parent, Joseph Biden, announced Stimuleena’s birth on June 10^th.   He expected her to have a full and rewarding life.  In spite of six weeks of milking the teets of taxpayers, the pork-fat that was consumed by the parents before, during, and after conception was apparently too much for the fetus to handle.

While most experts were skeptical Stimuleena could survive after birth, her parents were certain Obamacare would sustain her. Since the cost of medical care would no longer be an issue, the good taxpayers of America could pay dearly to sustain her.  After all, they had no choice.

Stimuleena is survived by her parents, Barack and Joseph; several god-parents, Rahm Emanuel, Christina Romer, Timothy Giethner, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid; numerous step brothers and sisters that reside in the democrat party; but no siblings…yet.

With the advice of co-god-parent Christina Romer, Barack may be planning the birth of another recovery child fund fest, Lollapelosi?  This time they were advised to increase the fat, and milk the teets less, to improve the longevity of their next love-child beyond November 2012 (when Barack will be seeking his second term as president).  We do not yet know if Hillary Clinton will be solicited to be the surrogate mother, although nine out of ten mental health professionals are discouraging this move.

Services will be held in private, with Barack Obama not yet willing to publically accept the loss.  Stimuleena’s body will however be maintained in a cryogenic state alongside Walt Disney’s head, in the minute hope Obamacare will find a cure sometime in the Futurama.

Reflecting on 9/11, nine years, later was damn depressing—almost as bad as reading our submissions this week.  Did you really think a bunch of radical yahoos could defeat America (and I don’t mean the Discord staff)?  Of course not, they were betting on our own stupidity, and that bet paid off far beyond their wildest expectations.

Al Qaeda can officially declare victory in the War on Terror.  In a six to five ruling last week, the 9^th Circuit Court of Appeals sealed our fate.  This ruling will forever protect George Bush, or any future president for that matter, from even being subject to a judicial review.  Another Watergate may never happen, well, the president is less likely to be brought to justice at any rate.  The ruling said that claims of torture will not even be investigated, as they are deemed “state secrets” not subject to court room adjudication.

Since 9/11, Americans have systematically dismantled their own freedom by granting unprecedented powers to the executive branch, the FBI, and the CIA, powers that have been used to surveil the citizenry without probable cause or due process, torture prisoners in illegally run overseas secret prisons, and also to wage unfettered, unjustified war on a global scale.  Cheney said that Obama would one day thank him for the expansion of power.   As a citizen of our once great nation, I would like to take the time to say, “Fuck you, Mr. Cheney.”

Freedom of religion and equal treatment under law have been revoked, as Americans are too scared to allow the construction of a mosque in lower Manhattan, and have declared the Muslim religion evil due to the actions of a radical minority who hate us for political reasons, not religious ones. I mean really, as if Al Quaeda would be stupid enough to put their terrorist headquarters in downtown Manhattan. Um, Hello? They operate out of Pakistan (assuming Osama hasn’t moved on). You remember? Our ally in the war on terror? The ones sucking down billions in aid which is being funneled into the Afghani insurgency? But I digress…

The mainstream media, well, OK, Fox News is very successfully fostering hatred, prejudice and fear, and building Nazi-esque nationalism by, ironically, repeatedly comparing our democratically elected government to Nazi Germany.  Joseph Goebbels would be proud. Meanwhile, the Koch brothers, Texas gazillionaires, are secretly funding the Tea Party, because they’re such big Glenn beck fans.  (Hah!  Fools.) How ironic that the second largest stockholder in Fox News’ parent company, Saudi Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal, has pumped hundreds of thousands of dollars into the very Manhattan mosque project they so fear. Am I the only one that sees the hypocrisy here? This guy is providing both the fire and the gasoline (literally) causing us to fear them and them to hate us. Why don’t we solve the whole problem by rounding up all of the Muslims and putting them into concentration camps, um, I mean resort colonies; a “final solution” if you will. Where have you heard that before?

The American economy is flying apart. Joblessness is near an 80 year high, and bankruptcies, crime rates and homelessness are following suit.  For a more hard hitting example, I am about to lay off Zano for a third time.  He is single handedly increasing both our unemployment numbers as well our nation’s under employment numbers.

Americans no longer travel because they are too scared, too poor, or do not want to deal with the hassles of air travel security restrictions or exploding underpants.

Osama bin Laden is still on the loose, somewhere (Pakistan?!?!?), orchestrating terrorist activity all over the world. He moves around, at will, sowing the seeds of anti-American sentiment, and we are watering those seeds by protesting at Mosques, burning copies of the Koran, and garroting cab drivers.

The other day, Andrew Sullivan was actually channeling Zano, instead of the other way around:

There are legitimate trade-offs between national security and liberty. But the protection of war criminals where no secrets are at stake except the scandal of torture itself is not one of them. Alas, there are few such citizens around. And, most tragic of all, those who say they care about liberty above all – the tea-partiers who invoke the founders – seem only too willing to surrender every liberty for the prize of a security against a threat we cannot even measure, and to bow down before a new king (and probably warrior-queen) rather than elect a new president.

—Andrew Sullivan, The Daily Dish, September 9, 2010

We need to change Know Hope to No Hope, but not for the reasons the wing nuts out there think. I would like to end this post on a high note…this is all going to end December 21, 2012, and I will be laying off Zano again this week.