I have called for the Republican Party to disband. I don’t make this statement lightly, nor am I kidding myself that their reign of terror is by any means over. It’s all just wishful blogging. But if you call for reform for a decade and it only gets worse…tootles. Don’t let the Capitol Building doors hit you on the ass on the way out. Really, those steps are steep.

I have a score card. I pitted yours truly, a joke spoof-news bloggerist, against Fox News & the GOP. Oh, and NO you can’t call the last decade a mulligan. Any recent improvement on their part is greatly exaggerated. Any reforms seem motivated by losing seats, nothing remotely resembling self-reflection. So Karl Rove has stepped up to lead their makeover? Great.

People seem no longer capable of looking at issues through any semblance of independent thought. I identified this disturbing trend years ago. Check out one of my articles in 2008. Knowing someone’s views on the death penalty should not, in and of itself, determine how you fall on every other issue of our time. This is a failure of all media, right and left. Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens mentioned this phenomenon three years later during a conversation, here. I’ll refrain from another I-told-you-so moment. The Right only has a series of this-is-why-we’re-still-right-despite-all-evidence moments. Hell, even when they’re right on principle, they seem insistent on blowing every issue like Senator Craig at a truck-stop glory hole…what? Too soon?

I tried to focus this contest on key junctures and key issues of our time. I combined Fox News & the GOP, as history will damn them equally. I briefly summed up the old stuff as not to beat a dead elephant, yet some undeniable patterns keep emerging like Senator Craig’s feet from under a truck stop bathroom stall. What? …he has a wide stance.

Oh, and I’m doing this in reverse order so people who are over the whole 2003-thing can, skim, or stop reading, or switch back to porn…you know, the usual. Oh, and I simply tied them into James Bond films out of sheer boredom:

Immigration:

The GOP & Fox News’ position: They have a real point here. I know, I know…weird. We should enforce the immigration laws on our books and secure our borders, but then they still manage to lose the argument—this time through a delicate blend of xenophobia and stupidity. Not to be confused with Xenaphobia: the fear of sexy amazon warrior women (Amazon.com joke omitted).

Hint: illegals will only stop coming here when you stop hiring them to cut your lawns and your solution to build a physical wall along our southern border is the dumbest thing I have ever heard since…well, since the last time I turned on Fox News.

½ a point – GOP

(Hey, they identified the problem, only out of fear and paranoia, but it’s still extraordinarily insightful…for them).

Zano’s position: The GOP wants a big wall so no one else can get in, yet they personally need Enrique and his five children at the sweatshop to keep the overhead down. They deserve that cheap labor, damn it! But no one else does. There’s a similar theme with their, “My family needs all those entitlements, but please make them unavailable for everyone else” clause.

First off, almost no one is sneaking into our country post-Bush. Have you seen the numbers? Or, in this case, number? More people are joining scientology these days—even when they mention the Xenu part (not to be confused with Xenu: Warrior Princess). Deja groaner alert. Most who are still entering our country illegally are drug mules, which my War on Drugs policy will address shortly.  But I am still hoping my guy makes it across; it’s medicinal. I have glaucoma in my right eye…or mustard. I’m sure it’s one of the two. Gulden Eye? All right, I’m already giving up on the Bond theme thing.

How about this for an answer: try enforcing hiring practices? Problem solved. Wow, that was hard. Then those five people who remain should have some type of path toward citizenship. Building the Great Wall of Stupid and deporting nine million people on buses is something Michele Bachmann dreams up when she’s not smearing her living room walls with pig’s blood.

One point – Zano.

Warmers: Climate Change You Can’t Believe In:

The GOP & Fox News’ Position: Climate change is all political. Polar bear deaths are all staged by Al Gore, so don’t mess with the markets. Drill baby drill! …View to a Spill? Okay, I lied.

Zero points – GOP

For this one they should lose a gazillion. They are the only group—not just in America, but on Earth—who won’t even acknowledge What’s Happening…and, frankly, that was one of the best shows of the late 70’s. “Hey, HEY, hey.” That never gets old. Republicans are willing to gamble with mankind’s entire future based on Fox News Facts (It Can Hannity Tomorrow joke omitted for your protection).

Zano’s Position: This is the Republican’s big gamble…Casino Royale? I realize Al Gore and others politicized the issue, which I always warned would backfire, but the warm remain the same:

1. A change of some type is happening (Duh).
2. We don’t know exactly what percentage is attributed to mankind (especially the math-impaired Right).
3. Either way pollution = bad.

Deep stuff. Yeah, deep stuff for the GED…sorry, GOP. See my related article here. Climate change or a mass extinction of this magnitude generally shouldn’t be perceivable in a single lifetime, but in this case it actually is. So even if you don’t understand something we elitists like to call science, you can simply look outside (hint: try taking off those Rove-colored glasses). The fact we’re losing eight Lake Erie’s worth of glacial ice each year is frightening; the fact half our country is ignoring this fact is astounding.

One of the last skeptics, Nicholas Stern, now thinks we’re on a four degree trajectory upward. Oopsies. Four degrees is bordering on a species ending hike. So much for the last naysayer. But, more importantly, I am three degrees to Bacon. Sizzle. My friend Vicki knew Kevin back in Philly (back Bacon joke omitted). So beat that Republicans! Thank you, sir, may I have a glacier?

“The Foxeteers call them Warmers. I call them Birthers with brains.”

—Mick Zano

In my same article It Might Not Happen Tomorrow so Keep Polluting, I begged the important question: how did Dennis Quaid, in Arctic conditions and with only tennis shoes strapped to his feet, walk from Philadelphia to NYC in about ten minutes to save his children? I don’t even think Republicans understand the implausibility, especially when one considers all of the tolls. Tollraker?

One point – Zano.

Energy Sustainability:

The GOP & Fox News’ position: Putting the words energy and sustainability together is meaningless to a Republican, much like the words scientific method, historical context, or evidence based. They feel we must continue to fund nuclear, coal, and big oil. That’s not a punch line. See China for how well that’s working out. Gas mask sold separately.

Okay, that’s really Japan, but you get the idea. I don’t care who loses their job, if you went into the coal industry in the last 15 years with a conscience or a clue, you should have already been job hunting.  Fox & Friends recently had a whole segment on solar energy and why it can only work in Germany. Their conclusion?

“…Because it’s so much sunnier there.”

Yes, the sun only shines in Germany. That’s not a joke, that’s a Fox News quote. Yes indeed, sunny old Stuttgart. Oh, those balmy beaches of Berlin, those blue skies of Babenhausen! Slate Mag covered their schitznick here. Meanwhile, cloudy-as-shit Germany is approaching 50% solar. Ah, those cloudless climbs of Crailsheim! Sorry, I have more but I’ll Rheinfrain. Ah, those rainless runs through Ratzeburg! I mean it this time… Maybe I can snap out of this by thinking of a Bond film. Der Man mit den Golden Schitzengruben? Sorry, my German’s rusty, but my Mel Brooks references remain as sharp as ever.

I think Bobby Jindal’s plea to “not be the dumb party” is going swimmingly. Hey, maybe they should try to evolve into the Silly Party. Talk about an upgrade!

Tarquin Fin- tim- lin- bin- whin- bim- lin- bus- stop- F’tang- F’tang- Olé-Biscuitbarrel was unavailable for comment

Oh, those crystal clear days in Düsseldorf! Sorry, miles away. Actually, I believe this part is calculated. This is your evil lobbyists at work. Of course, everything else they said during that Fox & Friends segment was stupid. Of course, if you corner a Foxeteer on the subject, they will all say in unison, “Traditional fuel sources are a bridge to get us from here to there.” Yeah, another bridge to no clouds Nowhereinstadt!

No points – GOP

Zano’s position: I agree with Fox News on this much: most attempts at going green have thus far sucked. Of course, the Right is rooting against green energy, which is another insightful move on their part. I know only this: the Right is wrong. How can it be otherwise? In the near future, a hundred miles of solar desert panels could supply 50% of our country’s demand. The technology exists today, but moving it to where it is needed will require some innovation. So flipping innovate already! Solyndra II anyone?

See the difference?

Liberal scandals = we need to try that again but succeed.

Republican scandals = let us never speak of that again…well, until the military tribunal. 

Whereas investing in the future and failing may be a “scandal”, not even understanding the importance to our planet and to our viability as a species is an F-ing crime.

If we want to have a future we will work diligently toward solar energy or something like it. Should we follow the Germans or the Christian Fundamentalists? Hmmm. Let me pray on it. Those warm Wednesdays in Waldfleigenbergen! Sorry. I made that town up…kind of like Fox does for their news segments. Sorry, but I spent some time in Germany and I think I saw the sun once.  

One point – Zano

The War on Drugs:

The GOP & Fox News’ position: Foxeteers intently want to keep throwing hundreds of millions of dollars each year towards this lost cause in the name of fiscal conservatism, aka, the usual. Even Mexico is begging us to stop singlehandedly keeping their drug cartels in business.

No points – GOP

Zano’s position: By every measure known to math-kind the “War on Drugs” is an abysmal failure. Hey, maybe that’s why the GOP has an affinity for it? I covered this recently during my interview with Cokie McGrath. Check it. The argument to keep waging this “war” through incompetence is growing thinner and thinner. Working in the field, I would guestimate 7 out of 10 addiction counselors believe most aspects of our War on Drugs have failed. We need to legalize marijuana, shift funds to education, and then tax the shit out of it. We can put an estimated half the cartels out of business overnight. I care about what 7 out of 10 addiction counselors think about this issue. I don’t care what 7 out of 10 Foxeteers think—er, unless I’m applying my do-the-flipping-opposite formula. Legalization, of pot at the very least, is inevitable. It’s only a question of how many lives we will ruin and how much money we will waste getting from here to there. Weed the People?…Bowlfinger?

One point – Zano

A UK summary:

“Since 2006, the Mexican government has undertaken a US-backed crackdown on drug cartels. Estimates suggest that around 60,000 people have been murdered, and the number of deaths is still rising. At the same time, in countries like Britain, we’re buying more and more of the drugs that flow through Mexico. Our prohibition approach has failed to stop drug use, and it puts money in the hands of narco-terrorists and international criminals. Despite 50 years of criminalization, illicit drugs are now the third most valuable industry in the world, after food and oil.”

—Julian Huppert, The Guardian

Or a UK-type blogger here:

“So we have a huge amount of money to cut and save. Why not start with re-classifying cannabis according to science not bigotry, and deploying police resources on actual crimes worthy of the name?”

—Andrew Sullivan

The War on Terror:

The GOP & Fox News’s position: This has been beat to death, like many at Guantanamo, badum-bum. Bush, for all of his expansions of executive power, SUCKED at actually getting the bad guys…oh, but he did destroy our Constitution real good.

No points – GOP

Zano: Obama’s approach worked on Al-Qaeda, but the biggest scandal of his tenor—actually, the only noteworthy one—is the current lack of checks and balance for our drone program. The other GOP scandals are nonsense. Proof? Boehner backs it and Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC), “applauds the President’s drone program!” These are men whose accomplishments wouldn’t fill a 16-font one page pamphlet. In fact, it would still be shorter than Jon Stewart’s: Famous Jewish Sports Legends.

And, sorry, the Muslim Awakening was inevitable. It doesn’t mean we’re rooting for it just because we won’t support bombing the shit out of every budding democracy or theocracy. There’s just no good solutions for such a large group of tribal/theocratic nut jobs. I’m talking about the Middle East this time, not the GOP. Most of the change over there is up to them. I realize that’s a true statement, yet completely meaningless to a Foxeteer.  Besides, we have much less power, credibility, and options post-Bush. We also don’t have a Justice Department post-Bush. I think the GOP finally took notice of this one. I warned them about this shit circa 2006. I’ll say it again, Alberto Gonzales made Eric Holder possible. Hey, but thanks for not listening. My old post here.

One point – Zano

Stay tuned next week when I continue to gut the GOP’s ideology like a fish. Same Blog time, same Blog channel.  Oh, those days sunbathing in sun shiny Saarbrücken! Sorry.

Picture Taken During Hamburg’s Rainy Season

Washington, DC—Nearly a dozen well-armed and unwashed men have gathered at a local pub in our capitol, demanding the President protect their 2^nd Amendment rights. This group is coming at things from a different angle. They believe very soon Americans will need, “All the weapons and Coors products they can get their hands on!”  This growing movement, calling themselves the Bath Salts Brigade, fears the Zombie Apocalypse is long overdue.

I caught up with their spokesman, William Lynn, and he had this to say, “All around the globe cannibalism is increasing and corpse sightings are on the rise. Pardon the pun. Obama can have my gun when he becomes a zombie and grabs it with his cold dead hands. With Z-Day just around the coroner, we need to be stocking up on weapons, not taking them away just because a few people are wasting kids. Hell, those will be a few less Zeds for us to kill later. Do the math!”

When I asked, “But aren’t zombies fictional?” Lynn punched me in the mouth and tried to break his beer bottle over my head. After being restrained, he yelled, “You’re walker bait! They’re already in Atlanta…try to make it to that farm!”

Another member of the cult, Freddie “Walker Waster” Wheeler, had this to say, “We just saw a zombie last night. He was leaving this bar and weaving all over the place. When we grabbed him, he puked all over me. It was just like that 28-Days thing…”

“The movie?” I asked, but he said, “No, the rehab I was in.”

Later, I contacted Michael D. Griffiths, author of Eternal Aftermath. He’s considered by many to be a resident expert on the pending Zombie Apocalypse.

“First off, guns are for wimps,” said Griffiths. “Any loser can pull a trigger. If you rely on guns alone, you’ll get cocky and soon the undead will be scooping out your brains and playing drunken soccer with your skulls!”

Apparently, they do that. It’s a little known zombie fun fact (ZFF).

Griffiths then said, “Real men wade into battle with a broad sword, because they don’t run out of bullets and chicks dig men with big swords. They don’t call them broad swords for nothing. While the gun lovers are racing around thinking they can shoot their way through a hundred walkers just to get another case of warm beer, I’ll be off in the woods with your girlfriends, eating crawdads, playing horseshoes, and smoking weed…building a Dionysian paradise.”

I asked, “You’re talking about a Discord contributor party, aren’t you?”

“Well,” he said, “We don’t call them that anymore. Those attract the local fuzz faster than the Ghetto Shaman in a school zone.”

I decided to bring the two men together to work out their differences and get to the brain of the matter. But before I could even outline the discussion, the men started arguing:

Lynn: I will be safe in my bunker, walker-bait!

Griffiths: What a blast, hope you brought a lot of post-apocalyptic porn (PAP).

Lynn: I have an anti-zombie vehicle that kicks ass and it has an ice chest for my Coors!

Griffiths:  Sounds great, well, until you run into the first road jammed with abandoned vehicles and that will take about two minutes. But then you can just start shooting and attract every zombie in a five mile radius. Still, I’m sure a man like you will be fine…as zombie food.

Lynn: I’m going to shove that sword up your…

Griffiths:  Have fun in your rolling metal coffin, zombie bait!

Things digressed from there, so I decided to interview a friend of the Discord’s, General Mitchum:

“Whether it is a fascist takeover, a Zombie Apocalypse, or a Justin Bieber concert reanimating an army of Twilight-loving pre-teens of doom (ATLPTD), there will always be a threat that gun-nuts think justifies their right to bear enough arms to equip a third world army. All we would need to do is leave a six-pack of Silver Bullet and a bag of pork rinds on their porch. This will also eliminate both werewolves and Jews.  Then, while they’re passed out, we rob’em blind. Yes, we will miss the beer, but it’s a worthy sacrifice!”

So is the threat of the dead starting to walk around with a taste for human flesh a justifiable reason to have firearms and keep blondes locked in your bunker? Only time will tell.

“Stop screaming, bitch! It puts the lotion on its skin or gets the hose!”

We are preparing for the upcoming outbreak in our own way and my personal choice is watching reruns of Scooby Doo, eating chicken wings, and doing huge bong hits, or as I call that, weekends. Just don’t call them Discord contributor parties, I think they started monitoring our social sites.

I got an email today from Reince Preibus, or whatever the F his name is, the head of the GOP. It seems that they now want to hear from the average Republicans—you know, people with real jobs—about how they can improve the party’s platform. I will now relate to youse’ my rather Cranky reply:

Dear Reince (or whatthefuckevergetarealnameplease),

1. To start with, please stop all Republican elected officials from ever, EVER making any statement related to the goings-on inside a woman’s manufacturing area type parts. EVER. No one from our party really knows just what-a-goes on in thar’ anyway, so it’s better we just left it be. The good Lord’s doin’ just fine without our input, no need to go fuckin’ everythin’ up, so to speak. I think you should make it real painful for any politician who strays from this rule, like maybe a six million dollar fine. And maybe throw in some waterboarding, first offense. This is a game I like to call ‘Stop the Bleeding’.

2. Every time an old white Republican man goes in front of a camera, make sure there is a Hispanic, a black person, an Asian-American, some young women and a Native American standing to his sides. This will go a long way to countering the grey-pasty-white-wrinkly-effect (GPWWE) we seem to have on our viewers. As yet there is no camera filter on Earth that can combat this, but NASA is working furiously on this very issue.

3. Similarly, please do not schedule group shots of old white Repubs. This will look more like a zombie attack or a Rolling Stones concert than anything political. We don’t want to scare the populace any more than we already have, especially the ones on bath salts.

4. Please leave out references to anything related to the following terms: marriage, sexual preference, borders-fences, and killing babies. These terms cause an immediate and forceful shutdown of any audience’s give a fuck levels. While we all may believe strongly in one or another of these, we live in different times now. Baby-killin’, carpet-munch’n, crotch-likkin’, butt fucking, fudge-pakin’, fence jumpers are more welcome here than we are. Besides, most of these themes can now be found in video games and our junior high curriculums. We must adjust to modern times, even if it does mean the end of the world as we knew it…not to mention God’s eternal damnation of all mankind. And please don’t finish a diatribe with the words, “And how’d that work out fer’ Gomorrah?” On a related note, I did really enjoy the movie Godzilla vs. Gomorrah. Sorry, I think it’s Godzilla appreciation month here at the Discord. At least I hope so, otherwise I’m starting to worry about this bunch.

5. If you are running for any office and you are in the middle of an endless desert, one thousand miles from anywhere, and you want to speak frankly about something to someone you trust, don’t bother. Even the vultures circling above your heads have Iphonea and they’re recording your every word for YouTube, aka, remain in character at all times, 24-7. Don’t even talk in your sleep.

6. The following terms are our only concern now: debt, deficit, entitlements, immigration reform and tax reform. Stick with the fucking message people, this aint rocket science. We need to blanket the whole news cycle with printouts showing the actual demise timeline of Medicare and Social Security, telling everyone that ‘they’ are actually going to throw grandma off a cliff when it all goes belly-up. We want to save at least most of it, or the parts of grandma that don’t annoy the shit out me.

7. Do not forget, our party, along with libertarians, is the only people that take into consideration human nature when trying to resolve a problem. Them other folks are all ‘Star Trek’ about things, living in their own fantasy world, where people don’t move to avoid taxes, where business owners care more for them that making a profit, where China and India are not part of the whole ‘climate change’ thing, and where Government knows best. You know… la-la land.

8. Engage a commission that gets paid, well paid, to search out media bullshit and bring it out immediately, forcefully and non stop. We need Fox times three. That should shut them up, or kill them, one or the other (see Scanners).

9. The next Repub candidate for Prez and VP WILL be a Hispanic and a woman, or STFU.

10. No more primaries. They killed us. Do a deal like we used to—nominees decided in a cigar smoke filled, darkened room…the ones with glasses of brandy and stacks of cash all rubber-banded together in little brown paper bags. You know, like how they pick the Pope.

A Realistic Crank

the_crank@dailyDiscord.com

Here’s what makes me crazy! …well, besides my diagnosis. During any given news cycle some source article or another somewhere on the web is immediately translated into something resembling political pink slime (PPS).  This new version of reality is then disseminated through Fox News, AM radio and any number of social sites for the purpose of perpetuating an easily dismissible false narrative. An example? How about: Godzilla Sighted Near Coastal City shows up on Twitter as Is Obama Weak on Radioactively Enlarged Reptiles?

Oh, you want real examples. Okay…hmm, did I mention the Mothra one? Actually, for real examples you don’t have to look far. I recently received this in my inbox: Do Penalties for Smokers and the Obese Make Sense? This is a nice little story which begs the question: should we tax sweets and cigarettes more to offset the cost of healthcare issues associated with these products? Of course that’s the source article, which is certainly a topic worthy of debate, but what came to me via the Fox-Newsian-filter was: Lib Media Already Pushing Death Panels for Fat People and Smokers!

I mentioned another example a few posts back when some right-winger claimed Obama Pays for CNN’s Content! The source article, in this case, was an interesting Glenn Greenwald Guardian piece. I’m afraid he would not recognize the Foxeteer’s translation…er, nor would anyone else. But this is happening every day, all over the web. Sadly, my beloved blogosphere is part of the problem. What scant facts we receive is Twitterized for your enjoyment. Whereas the Left has their issues, only the Right seems to routinely create news from the ether. And, as for Obamacare:

Hear ye, hear ye,

Rich people will always have access to good healthcare in the U.S. and now, thanks to Barack Obama, poor people will at least have access to the basics.

Sincerely,

Reality

P.S. I know, I know scary stuff.

The ongoing Obamacare angle from the Right will amount to highlighting every story like this: Pickled Drunkard Denied Third Liver Dies! Of course, in a Republican run world the original story would read: Pickled Drunkard Denied Substance Abuse Services or Any Medical Care Whatsoever Dies in Hospital Lobby. Yeah, that sounds so much better. Fear death panels. Got it.

We have had and always will have a team of individuals deciding whether or not an individual has enough money and/or coverage for certain medical procedures. And, as we go broke, it’s only going to get uglier, Obamacare or otherwise. This shit already happens every day in the U.S. and the fact so many seem oblivious to this reality is another example of a segment I like to call, “Here’s another subject the GOP doesn’t seems to know dick about.”  To see another subject the GOP doesn’t seem to know dick about, turn on Fox News right now…

All-or-none thinking, a key theme on the Right, is the story I’ve been covering for years and someday the media will take notice.  Summary: things I blog about generally becomes news in about a year or so and thing the Foxeteers blog about becomes either a tragedy or a comedy.  Doocy or not Doocy, that is the question.

As this relates to Obamacare, the GOP bifurcates reality into either:

You are a “taker”: you should die in the lobby because I don’t want to kick in for the bill.

You are a “maker”: we have blocked the entire third floor of John Hopkins for you, sir, and Dr. House is flying in with your Benadryl as we speak. Can I get you a nurse or maybe something from the naughty variety?

Of course, these are extremes but, thanks to folks like Sean Hannity, that’s all these folks seem to understand. And, no matter what they do for a living and no matter how many liberal entitlements they have personally taken advantage of, the Foxeteers will always consider themselves the “makers” and everyone else, no matter how educated or hardworking or affluent will be considered the “takers”.  Nothing in the middle has EVER made sense to these folks. It’s why even when they have a point—which is exceedingly rare—they still get it wrong.

I started out as a “pox on both your houses” kind of blogger, but over the years I have clearly become more liberal. Why? Well, it’s pretty sad when one group is worried about our imperiled climate, while the other blindly supports coal and oil. It’s pretty sad when one group is worried about our insanely high gun deaths, while the other is against even background checks for the criminally insane. It’s pretty sad when one group is worried about our disparity of wealth—which is now ranked among many Latin American countries—while the other is worried about socialism. Really? So when every penny in Springfield goes to the C. Montgomery Burnses of the world that’s socialism? Is it opposite day again? …yep, pretty much every time I turn on Fox News. Hell, by now you peeps should have knee burns worse than Smithers.

This is the same group against returning to 90’s level taxes after their ilk broke our economy. The real reason…they don’t want another 3% taken out of their earnings because they’re going to win the state lottery next week. Yes, most of them think this.

Last week I caught this over on The Dish:

Bashkar Sunkara recently stated the stunning fact that socialism is more popular than capitalism for those between the ages 18 and 30. Here’s Andrew Sullivan’s take:

“I don’t think Sunkara is wrong about this—but mainly by default, because conservatives, instead of trying to rein in a corrupt capitalism, have been defending its excesses as principles, and just ran a Bain executive as its nominee, for Pete’s sake, after an era in which reckless financial oligarchs nearly destroyed the entire global economy.”

I agree, and I have always predicted the selective outrage over on Fox would one day cloud some real issue (my related feature here). I also warned the GOP’s blind support of those sociopathic aspects of capitalism would be the system’s undoing, here. See? I always get to link back to shit, but as for the GOP’s views and predictions…er, it’s best to forget.

In other words, the defenders of capitalism are killing it. If Republicans have absolutely no desire to fix and reform our system, the country will take its ideology elsewhere. It’s yet another example of anything championed by Fox News is doomed. There’s a deep revulsion to the GOP, and rightly so. But, sorry, this is not some liberal media conspiracy, it’s primarily due to this phenomenon:

Republicans tend to talk about how they really feel about issues…out loud…with the microphone on. (Bad Idea Jeans?)

This revulsion to the Right and what Andrew Sullivan calls “the disillusionment with the status quo” is bound to propel us somewhere. I have always believed there is a need for conservative values, but only the ones that make sense. We don’t need AM radio’s juvenile and counterproductive version. As a direct result, we may now be heading toward a period of uber-liberalism, which has its advantages and its inherent dangers.

These days adult discussion is passé as the Fox translator remains set on hyper-drivel. What can come from our political discourse with the current reading comprehension level and mindset of nearly half our country? We must, as John Dickerson suggested over on Slate, Go For The Throat! It’s a good article encouraging Obama to finish off the GOP. The article echoes many of the themes I’ve already covered. Hey, better Slate than never.

This is also what the GOP fears. Maybe Fox is right about something, maybe Obama is going for the knockout punch. Oh, wait, they’re never right…damn it!

Do I relish the idea of one unchecked party? No, but if the GOP dies perhaps some meaningful conservative movement will fill the void. In its current form the GOP has proven itself to be petty, dysfunctional, and wrong on almost any given subject.  So this is a mercy killing. Hannitized for your protection.

I think Fox News was aiming for a certain level of misinformed viewer, but like some runaway Foxenstein Monster even they are starting to question their creation.

It’s a Lie! It’s a Lie!! Sorry. Somewhere Mary Shelley is being reanimated in her grave.

Did you see the NRA President, LaPierre, interviewed over on Fox? Chris Wallace has always been a pseudo-real journalist stuck in the Matrix (check the interview here). Eventually even Fox News is going to say…er, we didn’t really mean for our viewers to get this crazy.

They can’t control their monstrous creation. The Tea Party was just the beginning…

Is a similar problem occurring over on MSNBC? Sure. But at least there’s a logical connection between the source material and their spiel…at least so far. They don’t change the whole premise of the debate via a delicate blend of extrapolation and stupidity. MSNBC has an ideology and they do spin things. I am not defending them or their tactics, in fact, I never have. I have given them negative press as far back as my Olbermann bashing from 2008.

Hell, I would watch CNN if it didn’t make me want to shoot my face off.

This is CN…zzzzzzzz.

In an effort to appear nonpartisan, CNN has given up on the whole premise of actually reporting on anything. Time and time again I have watched some politician or another on CNN voice some completely absurd viewpoint and those people never questioned anything EVER! I remember one time someone interviewing some GE executive, who was complaining about how EPA regs are stifling the markets. This interview occurred to the backdrop, of all places, the Hudson River. And this “journalist” didn’t even point out the fact that GE has been identified as the main polluter of the Hudson River!

They have become MCs, not journalists. They only introduce the next act, “Up next, kids, we have the bear on a trampoline!” Of course MSNBC’s version of that segment would have focused on the PCBs in the water and the dead river behind them, while Fox News would immediately pan up and over to the Manhattan skyline before allowing the GE guy to further explain how Obama is unfriendly to big business. Of course that’s another reason I choose liberal causes…aka, fuck you, GE.

And yet, somehow, the GOP thinks they’re the great defenders of the Constitution. Let’s be honest, they just want to keep their guns. They will not defend, nor do most of them even seem to understand any other aspect of either the Bill of Rights or the Constitution. I always envision some Foxeteer labeled an enemy combatant being dragged from his or her home.

This can happen minus any proof. There will be no trial because Habeas corpus is now easily circumvented, so no lawyer phone call either. This person will then be tortured by the CIA, which is now permissible, and then perhaps whisked away to some country willing to do even what our own country’s Gestapo won’t. The person may then be beaten until permanently mentally ill. Well, this could explain Michele Bachmann.

Oh, but here’s the part they care about…on our tax dollar! Or maybe this person is finally released in this faraway place only to be killed with a drone strike. This has happened to American citizensbefore, like Jose Padilla for one, and countless others under the Bush Administration. Well, not the drone part.

Let’s face it, the only thing a Foxeteer cares about is having access to a gun as the Feds kick in the door.  Their hero in this scenario was at least able to fumble with some bullets before shooting his clock on the mantle before the Feds tackled him. The only thing they seem truly free from these days are the facts. Yeah freedom!

“Are we hampered as a nation in our ability to address real problems in the evidence-based world if half of the people in politics do not live in that world…and, if so, how does that get fixed?”

—Rachel Maddow

Sounds like she’s channeling Zano. And you wonder why I’m more liberal these days. As I’ve been saying, there is a real danger that everything associated with conservatism will be deemed bullshit. And that day is upon us. But make no mistake, this will give a free pass for Obama and his ilk…and there’s no one to blame but yourselves.