Mick Zano

Trump’s Annulment And The Aiding And Abetting Of A Known Felon

by Mick Zano • December 11, 2018

I’m going to cut my friend Pokey some slack. He’s just being used by our rightwing friends and lucky for him the inability to process information is not a crime. Devin Nunes and my friend Sean, on the other Hannity, are actively aiding and abetting a known felon. I’ve touched on this before, because I like to discuss what’s going to happen and avoid my friend’s approach, namely the misinterpretation of everything that already has. Many of us remain 90% sure that a variety of felonies are heading Trumpward. But others close to the president have known about this wide array of wrongdoing for a long time. Likely charges on the low end of the spectrum = obstruction of justice and a wave of white collar crimes. High end of the spectrum = full blown conspiracy + that other shit. The former should—and the operative word here is should—trigger impeachment proceedings. The latter should—and the operative word is should—trigger the full annulment of this administration. Team ass-clown is likely compromised to the Russians and the Saudis. Who knew? Uh, well, most of us. If it walks like a Trump and tweets like a Trump #ItsATrump. My above equation shows the results of such misdeeds in a functional democracy, which we no longer have. Yes, we ran past the point of no return on our environment and our democracy while half the country was too busy investigating the Clintons. Thanks? Today I want to talk about those enablers among us. Not my friend Pokey, a man blinded by the right, but those who are clearly aware of the wrongdoing and yet are protecting the enemy’s of democracy. Post Mueller’s findings, here’s who needs to fry for protecting Trump:

READ MORE ->

by Mick Zano • December 6, 2018

Yeah, we’re a little late on this one, but so his he.

by Pierce Winslow • December 2, 2018

Many of our readers are wondering how this website has gone from bad to worse over the years. I, as CEO, blame the inability of our marketing committee to raise enough funding for a functional Donate button. Next step, the creation of a Go Fund Me page to raise the money to create an on-site Donation button. More to come on that matter, but we are working diligently on this problem. Meanwhile, our recent article Where Is The Femdom Caucus Now? should have read ‘Freedom’ Caucus. We also apologize for the unfortunate direction our Photoshop team chose to take this misguided directive. We have removed the offensive image from the site and created an office dart board with it. Zano took a copy of it into the rest room for half an hour. I don’t know what’s up with that…OK, yes I do. Anyway, last week’s article Alien Ghost of Chiliean Found in Bowl in Mexico, should have been Ghost Chili Found in Mexican Illegal-Alien’s Bowl. This mistake caused a bit of panic south of the border—thankfully just the glorified gift shop in South Carolina, not the country.

READ MORE ->

by Mick Zano • November 28, 2018

Liberals are continuing to make a profound mistake hoping for some republican reformation, a day when the Trumpsters of the world will turn some ideological corner toward reason. Even after the next line of political debacles, no matter how costly, their zenwrongness will hold steady. Essentially 1 in 3 people in this country are impervious to reality. Most citizens are ill-informed, for sure, but this one swath of society has almost no chance of joining the vaguely sentient any time soon. They are locked in this political death spiral, forever tacking toward delusion, even as their champion of freedom gets one step closer to legal, economic, and political disaster every day. Liberals are sill holding onto the notion that, post Trump’s carnage, many will see the error of their ways and embrace some more sophisticated worldview. Let me dispel that notion today, in fact, let’s take said notion and separate if from its family, tear gas it, and banish it to parts south.

READ MORE ->

by Mick Zano • November 26, 2018

Tweet Tower—A senior staffer claims President Trump is exploring the idea of setting up carbonite storage facilities along the U.S.-Mexico border to deal with the current immigration problems. In this way asylum seekers can be frozen and stored until such a time as another president from the future, who might actually give a shit, can thaw them for final processing. Mexico is believed to be intrigued by the idea as well, but is pushing to have the facilitates located on the U.S. side of the border.

READ MORE ->

by Mick Zano • November 25, 2018

Brussels, BE—The Brexit summit in Belgium arrived with a hefty side order of sarcasm today. The choice of dessert, a giant banana split, struck a negative chord with at least one member of the accord. Many believe the UK is making a historic blunder by brexiting the EU, so several dignitaries desperately attempted to stifle their laughter as the desserts made their way to the table. “No one is laughing,” said May sternly. “Except, of course, all you people laughing. But let me remind you this is no laughing matter. No really, I’ve been crying myself to sleep for weeks over this. Oh, and the duck was salty!” No duck was served at the event, so many believe this was a very clever pun.

READ MORE ->

by Mick Zano • November 24, 2018

Paramus, NJ—A man is in custody at this hour after being declared the winner of the Garden State Plaza Mall Shop-n-Shoot contest. After a rampage that cost two people their lives and injured several others, Gus Stahl of Maywood, NJ landed a great deal at Best Buy. He made several purchases that likely made gunmen shoppers across the country jealous. Dylan Klebold, of Columbine fame, said, “There were several other Black Friday incidents across the country yesterday, but this guy gets my vote, well, if I could vote. He was a professional. He got in, he got out, no fuss, no muss, and he saved a shit-ton of money. There’s a guy in Delaware who used way more bullets for some Beats. Seriously, dude? Headphones? You’re going to kill a bunch of people and save like, what, fifty bucks? You people make me sick.”

READ MORE ->

by Mick Zano • November 23, 2018

Paradise, CA—A controversial study was published today in The Lancet by Dr. Sterling Hogbein, of the Hogbein Institute and Coin Op Laundry. Data from the self-proclaimed ‘quantum psychologist’ suggests the height of the smoke plumes from the recent devastating wildfires in California topped that of the average size of Donald Trump’s ego for a brief period of time between the hours of 7:15AM and 9:28AM PST Sunday, November, 17. The White House has thus far refused to comment on the controversial piece of peer reviewed research, which may only further the psychologist’s claim.

READ MORE ->

by Mick Zano • November 22, 2018

Tweet Tower—One of the two presidentially pardoned turkeys is back in the news today. A day after their pardoning ceremony, one of the turkeys, Peas, sent a short and pointed note to the president. After the Feds determined the white powder on the envelope was only meth, the note was handed to President Trump. In a gesture of good faith, Peas is pardoning the president for his hair, his fam, and “that meaningless Trump U degree he received in 2007.” Peas would also like to give a big shout out to those tofurkey people!

READ MORE ->

by Mick Zano • November 20, 2018

My friend thinks Democrats are the main racists in today’s society as well as in the past. So liberals are secretly the alt-right, tiki-torch wielding hate mongers? Too bad that laundromat was closed on my way to Charlottesville. [Sheet out-of-luck joke removed by the editor.] What fun house mirror are you snorting PCP off of? Your trip down racism memory lane has some early signs of Dem-entia. If liberals have managed to weaponize immigration to their political advantage, it might actually balance the active voter suppression efforts of the Republican party. Besides, if immigrants are helping to oust the worst regime this country has ever seen—next to Dubya, of course—than kudos! My blogvesary, after losing every argument in the 21st century, is climbing into Mr. Peabody’s Way Back Machine for the sole purpose of arguing how Republicans were the progressives on the lead up to the civil war. What? An orange, Mussolini-like wrecking ball is occupying the oval office, right now! Look at him! Look at him! Stop trying to hide behind Jackson v Lincoln, which has little to no relevance.

Retraction Alert: you would not be the guy in 1930s Germany ignoring the rise of Hitler only to hyper-focus on the shortcomings of his rival, Hindenburg; you’d be the guy attributing the problems of the day to the Teutonic knights, who never should have let those liberal Templars “suck all the fun out of the 12th century.”

This article is in response to Pokey McDooris’s most recent, here.

READ MORE ->