What’s the latest 501(C) ruling? Is there a link from the IRS to Obama? Is there a link between The GOP and reality? Does it consist of a rainbow bridge comprised of fairy dust and glitter? Yes, but only USDA prime-choice glitter…as “fairy” dust is generally frowned upon.

The right is going nuts that the real media is covering this very real Christie scandal. Brent Bozell is raging, “The liberal media has already spent 17 times as much time on Christie’s problem as Obama’s scandals!”

Dear GOP,

Christie’s problem rates a 6 out of 10. If it’s linked to him directly it’s a game ending 10.

Sincerely,

Reality

P.S. All of Obama’s scandals combined don’t quite reach a 6, but thank you for playing.

It’s not that the real media is protecting Obama, they just don’t understand your scandals. Hint: your chief ingredient is always bullshit.

As for the IRS, let’s play the devil’s auditor for a moment. If you run the IRS and you have a series of tools—annoying, yet legal tools—designed to find out whether or not a group is deserving of some tax free status and, said group is bent on ending your agency’s very existence, wouldn’t you bring all of these tools to bear?

Dear GOP,

Yes…yes you would.

Sincerely,

Reality

P.S. In fact, you would employ obstructionist and often counterproductive measures beyond your legal tools. You know, the kind that actually F-shit up more (See: Congress).

As for my review of the existing facts, I don’t think the audit filters the IRS used to check the tax exempt status for those Tea Party groups is surprising or illegal. Of course, any intentional delays to offering this tax exempt status to certain groups is harder to defend.

Here’s a wonderful Fox News article: Five Reasons the IRS Scandal Won’t Go Away. I would love to read that…and, by love, I mean forced to watch all The Twilight movies for eternity. What I did glean from The Google was this: the main problem regarding political non-profits is that the law itself is not clearly defined. So the latest 501 (C) (that passed last week) makes changes designed to tighten this law to prevent such targeting:

“In an aggressive move designed to crack down on free-spending outside political groups, the Obama administration is proposing strict new rules curtailing nonprofits like Karl Rove’s Crossroads GPS and the pro-Obama Priorities USA.”

—Byron Tau, Politico

So there’s a cracking down on all non-profits linked to political candidate related activity. I don’t think anyone saw that coming. Oh wait, here’s my post a few weeks after this “scandal” broke.

“Here’s my prediction for how the IRS will ‘fix’ their problem. They will increase scrutiny on progressive groups seeking tax exempt status as well. That’s it. Wow. Thanks!”

—Mick Zano

I predicted some increased, and quite legal, scrutiny for all. Deep stuff. …uh…Impeach!

Here’s a good anti-IRS rant on the matter from Executive Branch Review. They feel the IRS should just stay out of the political endorsement business entirely. I am not in disagreement. This is a cluster, yet a non-Obama-related-cluster (NORC).

Fun Fact: in Middle Earth hordes of NORCs often lay siege to castles.

So to summarize:

The current 501 (C) ruling = increased scrutiny for all politically affiliated non-profits.

The rational conservative position = no political groups get these tax exempt statuses, period.

Fine with me. Let’s have that debate. But, there’s always this third group and their third way approach to any given topic. As for the impeach Obama/scandal group, who cares what they think? They can never seem to actually grasp the nature of the problem, let alone offer any valid solutions.

So, basically, it was always legal and now with 501(C) it’s more clearly legal. If it wasn’t legal, explain to me why? Oh, you can’t. If it’s linked to Obama, explain how? Oh you can’t. Oh…you just want to keep this going anyway. Okay.

Here’s another Fox News gem:

Is the end near for the IRS?

Let me think, No.

Is the end near for the Republican Party?

Let me think, Yes.

Okay, okay, I’ll read that first Fox IRS article, again here.

[scene missing, Complete with fear, loathing, and micro brews]

Oh god, I can’t even make it through Mr. Seklow’s first line:

“Let’s be honest. It’s hard to concentrate on more than one scandal at a time.”

This should read: Let’s be honest, it’s hard to keep all of our bullshit talking points straight.

Lest we forget the rest of that first sentence:

“…and the ObamaCare meltdown could be the most consequential government policy failure in modern American history.”

[another scene missing as I threw up in my mouth a little bit]

So here is my summary of Sucklow’s five reasons we need to keep talking about this shit, or The World According to GOP:

1. It is ongoing!

Conservative groups are still not getting their tax exempt status! It’s still happening! The IRS still sucks and stuff! Meanwhile, this was apparently The IRS under Bush:

2. It goes right to the top!

We were told these actions were implemented by low level IRS employees, but it goes right to the top! Except Sekulow fails to mention any facts, details, sources, information, quotes, links…er, but it goes to the top! Yes, to the top of the talking point memo sent to all Fox News anchors and hosts. What republicans are trying desperately to do is build a bridge to the top of the IRS and then over to the White House. What they often end up with is a Senator Steven’s style bridge to nowhere.

“If a connection is found, Obama is in big trouble. That is not the case today, nor am I predicting a connection will be made. But that won’t stop the GOP.”

—Mick Zano, 5/20/13

3. Post investigations, the IRS has been shown to be corrupt, incompetent, and mean-spirited. This is news? …well, to people who have lived underground for the last several generations.

Hey, I want to invite the IRS to my cave party

4. This was not low level, it goes straight to the top!

Sadly, yes, it’s kind of just like number two (on so many levels). I guess his editor insisted on five fictional reasons and he only birthed four. This “point” led to a 2^nd Sekulow article, Obama’s Fingerprints are All Over the IRS Scandal.

So I read that turd as well. Sekulow’s only source in this second article is himself! His whole argument stems from Obama saying, “The Tea Party is a threat to democracy,” which was apparently a wink to have the IRS “do the deed.”

Nudge, Nudge, Wink Wink

I agree with the President here. For some recent Tea Party atrocities see: the government shutdown, the sequester, America’s lowered bond status rating, or my favorite summary: The Tea Party is America’s Taliban.

Hint: this may come as a shock to Fox viewers, but telling the truth is not an impeachable offense.

5. The IRS targeting scandal is directly relevant to the mother of all policy disasters, ObamaCare.

This one sounds like it was faxed in from Glenn Beck’s headquarters after he snorted all the chalk in the room and sniffed all his Sharpies. Apparently government healthcare is related to taxing, which is related to the IRS, which is related to Beelzebub, which is related to sex with animals, which could lead to sweater vests.

Reality Check: ObamaCare is originally a republican cost containment approach designed to contain some cost. I know, scary stuff for the fiscally and factually impaired.

So, much like Benghazi, we have learned next to nothing since the day this shit broke. So here’s the real five reasons this scandal won’t go away:

1. Fox News

2. Fox News

3. Fox News

4. Bullshit

5. Matt Drudge

Rinse, blather, repeat.

Here’s a simple trick to deal with republican bullshit, just put some variation of: because it’s not illegal after every headline. Watch:

FBI has contacted few Tea Party groups eight months since IRS scandal broke

…because it’s not illegal

CNN All But Ignores IRS Scandal

…because it’s not illegal.

Is the IRS the Worst Scandal in U.S History? 

No…because it’s not illegal.

See? And if that doesn’t work try No….because it’s not linked to Obama in any way.

Will the Tea Party IRS Scandal Get Obama Impeached?

No….because it’s not linked to Obama in any way.

Will the IRS scandal bring down Obama?

No….because it’s not linked to Obama in any way.

Wow, that was arduous, a traveling with Frodo to Mordor kind of arduous, although I do enjoy 2^nd breakfast as much as the next guy. So what have we learned? Nothing I didn’t already know about the IRS or the gullibility of your average Foxeteer. And, if Bush was the Decider, I’m the Prognosticator so let me offer one more prediction before I bail.

I sense this post is ending.

Nailed it again!

Through propaganda the rightwing media has effectively thinned the ice for Obama, which is not an easy trick during a polar vortex. So when his healthcare rollout faltered he immediately dropped to Bush-level approval ratings. Well played. I agree, ObamaCare is one of the worst things to ever happen to this country…um, except the whole it has barely started thing.

For a real scandal See: Chris Christie. His scandal rates a 6 on the scandal scale of 1 to 10. To put that in perspective, all of Obama’s combined wouldn’t reach that high See: U.S. History. Obama’s biggest problem thus far, The Affordable Care Act, is a policy blunder not a scandal.

So to learn about real scandals, kids, read about republicans!

Meanwhile, Foxeteers are absolutely glib about the ACA debacle. I think in celebration they even closed their fake scandal factory in Honduras for the whole holiday week. I can’t believe they outsourced that shit. Story here. Never mind the fact The GOP is partly responsible for the ACA’s current woes, but let’s give them some credit. Let’s let them have their moment in the sun.

Oh…over 2-million have now signed up? Okay…enrollments are almost back on their original projected pace?…okay. Another 6 million covered under Medicaid expansion?

Moment over.

Did you enjoy it? That’s nice. Now, can you please go back to imploding as a political party? Thanks. Could you imagine if Bush’s largest problem was the horrendous rollout of his Medicare-D program?

Bush’s website took about as long to fix but I admit this is a MUCH bigger deal. Obama deserves scrutiny for his legacy achievement’s botched rollout and his related misstatements, but 90% of the rest of his criticism resides high on the soft steamy peaks of Stewart’s Bullshit Mountain.

As for reality, I’ve been covering our narley insurance deductibles and premiums as long as I’ve been blogging. Out of control Insurance rates pose one of the biggest business and middle class killing challenges. As I’ve mentioned before, my last two CEOs named rising employee insurance rates among their biggest financial concerns. The republican’s solution to this major problem remains quantum. Check out Chait’s post on The Heritage Uncertainty Principle. You can extrapolate this to nearly every other issue of our time. Under all the bloviating ignorance, reality slips away for The GOP like Christie’s presidential aspirations.

Now, for the first time in decades, insurance rates have at least slowed. Hopefully the ACA will keep the pressure on our more vulturistic insurance companies and truly hold them to a minimum standard. I love the way Fox covers every insurance that’s better than Obamacare. Policies above the minimum…er, imagine that. Of course, there’s no shortage of Fox News watching doctors (FNWDs) already complaining about Obamacare.

Dear doctors,

Your bosses, you know the people who actually run the hospitals, well, as it turns out, 9 out of 10 of them think the ACA will eventually reign in healthcare cost and will be ultimately good for the industry.

Sincerely,

Reality

P.S. Full story here.

Oh and:

“Obamacare’s Medicaid Expansion is working in those states who wanted it to work.”

—Ezra Klein

Remember, you heard it here first. And the same will eventually be true for the medical component of this schitznik. So despite Obama’s lowest approval ratings, I still predict republicans are finished and our President, as well as ObamaCare for that matter, is simply not. But don’t fret Foxeteers, you won’t even be reading my post when I link back to this years from now, because you’ll be fixated on:

Is President Clinton Colluding with Our Alien Oppressors?

Will Senator Chelsea End the Last of Our Freedoms?

When Bill Smoked Pot was Hillary the Lone Inhaler?

Was Hillary Playing Golf with Obama during Benghazi?

Will We Keep Asking Questions Minus Any Facts?

Dear Fox News,

Question marks are not a replacement for facts.

Sincerely

Reality?

P.S. I know they’re all you’ve got, but please mix it up, maybe with some nice exclamation points.

Yeah, they’re a political parody. Here’s someone who shares my this too shall pass philosophy:

“Numerous moments have been declared to be disasters for Obama, going back to Jeremiah Wright. This hyperventilating approach always turns out to be wrong and overheated.”

—Michael Tomasky

Here are my two anecdotal examples. I have one very poor friend who may have to pay more under ObamaCare or face fines. He’s pissed. I have another friend thrilled he might be able to insure his family on an exchange and finally dive fully into his private business. Insurance has always stopped many people from doing what they want in life. If this ultimately works and we can all hit some exchange, compare rates, and then escape our boss’s thumb, aka THAT is freedom. Funny how republicans only defend the freedoms associated with unlimited working hours, union busting, and wage stagnation (see: Sweatshops for Freedom!).

As folks shuffle around for insurance we will have no shortage of angry people and corresponding Drudge headlines. Don’t worry, when that stops the right will cover every person who thought they had coverage but the website didn’t sign them up correctly. Then, when those run out, they will continue to blame every death in America on ObamaCare. When that gets stale and everything is pretty much functioning…Battle Beneath the Planet of Benghazi! Kidding, they will have invented another scandal by then.

Obama is shooting for 7 million enrollments by March, I think he’s lucky if he hits 5.5, but that should do the trick. We must remember a faction of Foxeteers think Ted Cruz successfully got ObamaCare repealed. Full story here, so some of the terminally misguided won’t sign up on principle.

So why then do you think the ACA may lead to our doom, Zano?

Funny you should ask that, imaginary reader. If the ACA does unravel, which is still possible, republicans could surge in the next two election cycles. And that would spell disaster for our country. Mark my words.

I still don’t think the republicans can rally—not if I have anything to blog about it. But, sadly, our elections are ultimately decided by the clueless; those people who vote based on the last gaffe, the last news cycle, the bad hair day before the election, or the candidate they would rather have a beer with. I really don’t know if The GOP is finished, but they are in deep, deep ideological schitznik. Hell, I wanted to give the GOP each a lump of coal in their stocking this Christmas, but I was afraid they’d all burn them increasing our overall carbon emissions.

Yeah, I’m going there again. Why not? At this point I’m eligible for some frequent blogger miles. We keep learning more and more about Benghazi, well, at least we learn more about the relative mental health of one faction of our society, or the World According to GOP.

Here’s what an extensive New York Times investigation turned up on the embassy attack at Benghazi:

“No evidence that Al Qaeda or other international terrorist groups had any role in the assault. The attack was led, instead, by fighters who had benefited directly from NATO’s extensive air power and logistics support during the uprising against Colonel Qaddafi. And contrary to claims by some members of Congress, it was fueled in large part by anger at an American-made video denigrating Islam.”

—David Kirkpatrick

Yep, back to day one…but hasn’t it been a fun imaginary ride? Half the gasoline for this “scandal” involves republicans believing the attack had nothing to do with that anti-Muslim YouTube video that sparked a rash of attacks all across the Muslim world on that same day. Yeah, I can’t make this up. If they can’t connect those dots—A YEAR AND A HALF LATER—we’re going to need bigger dots.

Summary Alert:

“The Middle East is complicated and republicans simply aren’t.”

—Mick Zano

Over at Fox News, as this NYT story broke, they all lost what little was left of their collective minds. Here’s the Fox headlines that day:

Truth Infuriates Batshit Base!

Is the Truth About Benghazi Misleading?

I still like my take the week this shit happened:

“This ‘scandal’ is about how we referred to the attackers after the fact and why. Hey, let’s call them Smurf Tacklers. Our embassy was once again assailed by those fucking, towel-headed Smurf Tacklers. Is that going to bring back the dead? Was it ‘extremists’ or ‘terrorists?’ Whaa? I would hate to be killed by terrorists, but extremists will be extremists…forgive and forget, right?”

—Mick Zano

This is why Hillary said, “It doesn’t matter.” She wasn’t talking about four American deaths, she was talking about the right’s incessant and quite mindless stream of irrelevant questions.

Dear GOP,

There has been only one valid point regarding the Benghazi incident. The place was under secured.

That’s it.

Sincerely,

Reality

P.S. Oh, and sorry you couldn’t pursue that very real shortcoming because you’re the jokers who decided not to fund the thing.

And, even though it’s utterly meaningless whether they were al-Qaeda or al-Qaeda-like or al-Qaeda bold, you still got it wrong! They weren’t al-Qaeda! I still think they were Smurf Tacklers. Yes, a year and a half later and my important theory, involving radicalized Smurfs, has as much validity as all 178 of your related headlines.

“It’s important to understand exactly what Kirkpatrick is saying: not just that Al Qaeda had essentially nothing to do with the attack in Benghazi, but that our preoccupation with al-Qaeda actively crippled our understanding of what was happening in Libya.”

—Kevin Drum

So idiocy on the right made finding the truth even harder. Again, please extrapolate that to any other given topic. Meanwhile, The GOP is salivating that Christie is tied with Hillary in the polls. This is a snapshot in time. The lowest point in recent Dem history matched up against someone the GOP will never have the wisdom to nominate. Good luck with that. Someone who disagrees with me on this point recently said, “You’d be surprised what happens when people want to win an election.”

Umm, sorry, I’m almost never surprised. Have you read my posts? Republicans, who invariably never agree with me, must therefore almost always be surprised. Christie won’t be the nominee. Sorry, the inmates are running the asylum. Sorry known of you are even capable of identifying this fact. Hey, but don’t fret Foxeteers, Nurse Ratched’s coming around with the Jello again.

So yet another scandal dies. Kidding! Fox News will never let the truth interfere with a good bullshit narrative.

Political Summary Alert:

Granted we’re a short attention span society, but the list of GOP atrocities over the last twenty years is too long and the list of Obama atrocities pretty much starts and ends with the Affordable Care Act. So when it’s working a year from now, sorry, you’ll be back to zero. Don’t worry, you have never actually been much higher than that. Maybe you should all flock to Colorado…er, to get a little higher than that.