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Vain Manor—The Trump campaign is reeling after allegations have surfaced that involve The Donald’s personal butler encouraging the assassination of our sitting president on social sites. Mr. Trump is standing by his long time friend, “My butler is a great man. He’s the best, great man and he is totally innocent. First off, he would never say stuff like that outside of the Batshit Cave and second, he’s like what? 120? He wouldn’t know a social site if it Tweeted him in the ass.”
What is our cultural identity and why is it important? What does it mean to be an American in the 21st century? We are very divided, which has implications for both our identity and our future. Amidst any discussion these days, bipartisanship breaks out faster than a Ferguson Missouri Trump rally riot. Today, the Republican fringe is preparing for a holy war and factions of our New Age liberals are worried about an alien invasion from Nibiru. Hmmm, so how do we reconcile these two groups? Onward Christian Mulder?
My friend Pokey has some concerns about our cultural identity, our withering values, and our founding documents. Just stop following me on Twitter, dude. Start there. Pokey’s so concerned about the Constitution that he’s considering voting for a fascist to defend it. He’s so concerned about our cultural identity that he’ll champion bigots and zealots. Cultural Identity Disorder? As usual we don’t agree on how we got here, our priorities, our next steps, austerity or stimulus ….pumps or stilettos. It’s like that time I waited for you at Moriarity’s Pub. We were only blocks away from Philadelphia’s Freedom Trail and you turned that night into a Trail of Tears. I should have went with pumps. *sob* …wait, was that Boston? Don’t get me started on what you did in Boston!
I commend you on delivering an admirable response to my immigration article, Zano, but there’s still one unacknowledged point of contention that is at the heart of my argument. You’ve been dancing around this point since our very first debate, and I am determined to pin you down, you slippery sophist. The main point behind virtually every one of my Discord articles is the question: what is our nation’s cultural identity? And, no, I don’t believe it is relevant or appropriate to explain our cultural identity as it relates to the subject of midget porn.
Collapsing Shack, AZ—Most of us have our mental health ups and downs, or as I prefer to call them: 1. drinking or 2. working. Some people certainly have a leg up on the happiness scale. What advantages do they have that I’m missing, besides talent and a life? Between dumpster diving and jamming out to old punk tunes in the dirt, I have discovered what these other Americans have going for them and where I may be lacking. After almost thirty minutes of effort, I have outlined a method to improve one’s happiness. I don’t think it will help me, I am too far gone, but perhaps you, gentle reader, will gain something from all of my hard work …or at least come to appreciate how you’re not as bad off as the old Bone Man.
Yes, The Discord guy didn’t get to vote in the AZ Primaries. Voting was a shit show in my state last week, even by normal Arizona “standards”. Here was the excuse:
When you changed your address, maybe you failed to fill out the voter demographic part properly.
Uh, I haven’t moved, unless you’re talking about moving from the sofa to the fridge, which is still bullshit because I have people for that. I registered as a Dem in 2008 to vote for Obama, so those claiming user-error are mistaken. They always pull this crap. This is the GOP’s Modus Operandi, who I refuse to denigrate in this post. For our Republican friends, “Modus Operandi” means “standard operating procedure.” Republicans are Constitutionalists in the same way that ISIS is a team of archeologists. Rapers of the Lost Ark? Raiders of the Lost AARP? No, seriously, this is a question… I’m trying to slam both ISIS and Republicans in the same joke. ISIS Shrugged? There you go, Zano. I knew you could do it. Let the suppression begin!
Flagstaff, AZ—The above image caused me some Facebook controversy. Not because The Discord already endorsed Hillary, which would make sense, but because I was seen fraternizing in Flagstaff with a flaming fanatical. Oh, the horror! Sorry if amidst the waning days of our democracy I want to hear a presidential candidate speak. I would love to hear a Republican candidate speak, when they learn how. Your party is nominating a fascist, so forgive me if I don’t give a flying %^&$ if America slides dangerously close to Toronto-style policies. Check please! No really, hockey’s much better than football. [Winslow: Other sports are for people that can’t play hockey] I am in no way comparing Trump to Hitler. Hitler was smart. If you liked capitalism so much, maybe you shouldn’t have broken it. This is why we don’t have nice things. Anyway, I have more important things to discuss today, like why The Discord’s anchor Bradly Bradfordson made the front page of The Daily Sun? Why was my image relegated to some Bernie Meetup group? Damn you, Bradford!
I wrote a little rebuttal ditty, not about Jack & Diane. I just wanted to clarify some statements made in Tony Ballz’s recent article The Confederate Flag: Public Opinion Is Often A Petty Thing. Well, I want to take issue with one statement in particular:
“My defense remains the same: until fairly recently, the display of the rebel flag simply meant regional pride.”
-Tony Ballz
This is about as accurate as Trump on Immigration. The “rebel flag” is, most assuredly, a symbol of ignorance in that most Southerners don’t even know the history of their own “symbol of pride”. The Confederate flag, as plastered on countless Dodge Chargers and pickup-trucks, is not even the Confederate flag.
A few years ago, I published an exhaustive multi-part article on Lynyrd Skynyrd and their iconoclastic singer and lyricist, the late Ronnie Van Zant. The main thrust of the piece was that “Sweet Home Alabama” was not a racist song at all (the key is in the last verse, plus a line Ronnie throws away at the end), but an attempt by Southern hippies to reject the years of bigotry and hatred and murder weighing down their culture, while still maintaining a Southern sense of identity. This gave rise to the 1970s liberated redneck (see also: the Allman Brothers, Jimmy Carter). One section concerned an issue that has recently reemerged in the public consciousness: the Confederate Flag, which Lynyrd Skynyrd and other bands of the time used as a stage backdrop.