Spygate is back, kids, or how the Feds illegally spied on The Donald just for fun. My friend is sending me link after link and a clearer picture is emerging, but I don’t understand why he keeps casting me in the role of spook defender. He ignores how I protested the broad tools handed to our intelligence community in the aftermath of 9/11, predicted Fed screwups, and approve of any agents frying for these aforementioned screwups. Also, I am not, nor have I ever been against these investigations. I am keenly aware that our intelligence community has been rogue, well, ever since republicans encouraged and enabled all their rogueness. The bigger problem is this scandal’s main premise. I mean, who would willingly listen to Donald Trump if they didn’t have to? He’s probably the only one the NSA is like: Naaah, that chick in 13A is having sex again. My friend’s prevailing argument, the bullshit part, is how this spying was politically motivated. There are serious breaches here, but the prime republican directive is that they land on the doorstep of either Joe, Hillary, or Barack. And until then they will leave no Stone verdict overturned. That’s their white whale, a liberal bogeyman, a theory I predicted would never pan out. The actual Trump situation is not unlike that of the gangster, Al Capone. Back in the day, the Feds could only nab him on tax evasion. Granted, it’s not the best example: whereas Capone developed a program during the Great Depression that provided milk deliveries to his fellow Chicagoans, Trump would have detained the milk trucks until his picture was added to each carton. I would actually support Trump on this one but only because it would also imply he was missing.

READ MORE ->

My friend and blogvesary responded to my last post and for that I’m grateful, mostly. But it doesn’t change the fact he’s still knee-deep in Foxal matter, oblivious to what’s coming in November. “You’re not making any sense, Zano!” I’m afraid nothing this far down the rabid hole is going to make sense to you, my friend. I do still enjoy our exchanges, but only for the same reason I keep eating ice cream despite a lactose intolerance [‘Fifty shades of sorbet’ joke removed by Tom Carvel]. Even after decades of debate, my friend still can’t acknowledge that each and every one of his ‘scandals’ had its day in court and ended with some republican judge, senator, or special prosecutor finding no crimes. You may not be aware of these conclusions, because Fox News will repeat this crap for years on end before making a smooth transition to the scroller—the moving ticker just underneath the blonde newscaster—for those inconvenient court findings. No retraction, apology, or further explanation necessary. I’d like to shove all of Fox New’s supposed journalists face-first off Trump’s ego. Anchors Away? I think for Pokey’s crusades we stand at zero indictments and counting. This is a QA-non-starter for me, and yet my friend still demands payment in full. Seek and thou shalt still fine?

READ MORE ->

Sure I’ve wondered whether the idiocy part of Donald Trump would save us from his worst authoritarian impulses, but my greater concern was always centered on a society that could elect such a man in the first place and what might spawn from such ideological sewage? Post QAnon’s emergence, one wonders if the Trump base, aka IQanone, might save us from their more terroristic inclinations? After all, this is not your grandfather’s Weather Underground [‘putting on false Ayres’ joke detained by the FBI]. Face it, the fabled ‘Q’ of QAnon is to Bin Laden as the ‘underwear bomber’ is to Muslim terrorism. The mystery MAGA prophet has gotten nothing right to date, from Hillary Clinton’s “imminent arrest” to “the Coronavirus is a hoax,” so he’s a perfect addition to the team. Republicans have made a lifetime of being wrong; it’s second nature to them, so why would their Nostradumbass be any different? Follow your blissful ignorance? The FBI has already classified QAnon as a domestic terrorist group, but if they follow suit with ANTIFA, it’s just politics. Half the country is against fascism and the rest can’t spell fascism. But just how homegrown extremism is this bunch going to get? And who gets elected to the backdrop of these populist delusions? Kidding, Trump stays in power until he dies because the only thing standing between him and some jail bars is AG Barr.

READ MORE ->

Liberals are continuing to make a profound mistake hoping for some republican reformation, a day when the Trumpsters of the world will turn some ideological corner toward reason. Even after the next line of political debacles, no matter how costly, their zenwrongness will hold steady. Essentially 1 in 3 people in this country are impervious to reality. Most citizens are ill-informed, for sure, but this one swath of society has almost no chance of joining the vaguely sentient any time soon. They are locked in this political death spiral, forever tacking toward delusion, even as their champion of freedom gets one step closer to legal, economic, and political disaster every day. Liberals are sill holding onto the notion that, post Trump’s carnage, many will see the error of their ways and embrace some more sophisticated worldview. Let me dispel that notion today, in fact, let’s take said notion and separate if from its family, tear gas it, and banish it to parts south.

READ MORE ->

My friend thinks Democrats are the main racists in today’s society as well as in the past. So liberals are secretly the alt-right, tiki-torch wielding hate mongers? Too bad that laundromat was closed on my way to Charlottesville. [Sheet out-of-luck joke removed by the editor.] What fun house mirror are you snorting PCP off of? Your trip down racism memory lane has some early signs of Dem-entia. If liberals have managed to weaponize immigration to their political advantage, it might actually balance the active voter suppression efforts of the Republican party. Besides, if immigrants are helping to oust the worst regime this country has ever seen—next to Dubya, of course—than kudos! My blogvesary, after losing every argument in the 21st century, is climbing into Mr. Peabody’s Way Back Machine for the sole purpose of arguing how Republicans were the progressives on the lead up to the civil war. What? An orange, Mussolini-like wrecking ball is occupying the oval office, right now! Look at him! Look at him! Stop trying to hide behind Jackson v Lincoln, which has little to no relevance.

Retraction Alert: you would not be the guy in 1930s Germany ignoring the rise of Hitler only to hyper-focus on the shortcomings of his rival, Hindenburg; you’d be the guy attributing the problems of the day to the Teutonic knights, who never should have let those liberal Templars “suck all the fun out of the 12th century.”

This article is in response to Pokey McDooris’s most recent, here.

READ MORE ->

After creating diversionary scandals, damaging the republic, and tearing down the western world order, one might wonder how Republicans find the time to compromise their principles. Scandals and flip flops, flip flops and scandals abound. To meet these changes and challenges our conservative friends must reinvent themselves more often than a replicant with OCD. “You can never step into the same Republican party twice, but afterwards you should probably change your shoes.” —Heraclitus

READ MORE ->