Gotham City—The nation watches in anticipation as the president-elect, Donald Trump, vets key members of his future administration. He has chosen to shift the focus of his search to Arkham, an infamous Asylum for the criminally insane. Will his cabinet include Sarah Palin, Chris Christie, Newt Gingrich, or the Penguin? Dr. Jonathan Crane, aka The Scarecrow, will be conducting Tuesday’s tour of the facility and grounds. “He should think outside the isolation room for this one,” said Dr. Crane. “I hope he considers some of the lesser known talent, hidden away deep in the bowels of this important institution. Either Atomic-Man or the Electrocutioner would be well-suited to head the Department of Energy, and both of them have pending parole hearings. Two-Face would make the perfect Secretary of State and Mr. Freeze could single handedly combat global warming, well, if you believe in that sort of thing.”
Four Enclosed Walls, AZ—We all have our share of bad luck, or in my case waking up in the morning. Sometimes during the worst of times housing can be the cause of your problems. Or you are having the worst of times because you have no housing. Or maybe your housing is having the worst of times. Whichever it is, housing can be a challenge, especially for single people. Don’t worry, you’ll get through these hard times and then you’ll land yourself in a steady relationship and things will get much much worse.
When she first came around, I was vaguely attracted to her, I don’t know why. Actually, I do know why: she had long red hair, and I’m a sucker for that stuff. Other than that, not really my type. Too thin. She was also a bit nutty, but that never stopped me before.