Lodi, NJ—The Discord’s Bald Tony met with Frankie Vincent, of Sopranos and Goodfellas fame, to discuss their “situation” with a radicalized, extremist pop-band known as Devo. This group is threatening violence in response to intentions to destroy several Duran Duran albums during the Discord’s highly controversial event Burn Duran Day.

Bald Tony reports negotiations at an undisclosed location over pasta went well last night.

Vincent told the Discord staffer, “Consider the problem solved. They’re nerds.”

Bald Tony reports the meeting was cordial but intimidating.

“I just kept thinking, no Mafia jokes, no Mafia jokes, no Mafia jokes…then, the first thing out of my mouth is, ‘so this horse’s head, Joe Pesci, and a Port Authority employee walk into a bar…’”

 It all ended well, apparently, although no one has seen or heard from Tony since Operation Cannoli went into effect yesterday evening.

“We underestimated the response,” said Discord CEO, Pierce Winslow. “We had no idea how many people still liked Duran Duran. We have suspended Burn Duran Day indefinitely, and we are probably just going to go drinking instead.”

When asked if any members of the Daily Discord might forge ahead with the scheduled album burning, Winslow said, “No. They really like drinking.  Besides, they’re not worried about any backlash; they just don’t finish anything they start. Take this post, for example, they were supposed to…

Philadelphia, PA—A radicalized pop band calling themselves The People’s Republic of Devo are sticking up for the popular 80s band, Duran Duran.  They are calling for the heads of all Discord staffers in response to the ezine’s controversial decision to burn 16 copies of Rio this Saturday at the Liberty Bell Pavilion.

“They should die,” said front man, Mark Mothersbaugh.  “horribly if possible.  This is an affront to Bowie the Goblin King and all things 80s.  Think about it, what would 80s night be like without Rio?  It would be as bad as a fucking 90s night, if you can imagine that.”

CEO of the Discord, Pierce Winslow, is firing back—out of the side window of his Buick GNX.  “Yeah, I’m packing and I am defending my 2^nd and my 18^th Amendment rights.”

When it was pointed out the 18^th Amendment involved the repeal of prohibition, Winslow said, “Yeah…drinking, shooting, and driving.  What did you think I was talking about?”

The FBI and local law enforcement personnel are encouraging the main contributors of The Daily Discord to take this threat seriously and are suggesting they all lay low for a while.

“Just look at those orange hats,” said Springfield Police Chief Clancy Wiggum.  “According to the MTV archives, they’re packing whips too.  Not to mention, they’re probably all doped up on goofballs.”  

Philadelphia, PA—In what is being hailed as “the copycat publicity stunt from hell”, the Daily Discord plans to burn old Duran Duran albums en mass next Saturday.  According to inside sources, Discord staffers have accumulated 16 of the band’s albums, mostly Rio, as well as one of the bassist’s rarer solo albums (Dave Atsals is a huge fan).  Unless their demands are met, the Discord is planning this pop-pyre at the Liberty Bell Pavilion in Philadelphia, PA, on the anniversary of the cancellation of Celebrity Family Feud. 

When asked about these demands, the Daily Discord’s CEO, Pierce Winslow, channeled a certain teen beauty queen. “I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq, uh—”

“We will burn all of these albums onto our hard drives,” cut in the Discord’s Ghetto Shaman. “Muslims hate illegal downloads.  It makes them crazy…er, crazier.”

He then recited a strange variation of Churchill’s speech, with lyrics such as: “We shall fight them on the bitches!” to the backdrop of his fellow Discordians belting out one of the worst renditions of Hungry Like the Wolf ever karaoked.  The unauthorized press conference ended when the Philadelphia Police Department tear gassed the lot.